


James and Penny

by Ozymandias59



Category: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ozymandias59/pseuds/Ozymandias59
Summary: James Hawklett tries to have a normal school year, but some people have other ideas in mind. Slow burn between Penny and him. It will slowly drift away from canon, I don't really plan on following the events from Year 6.
Relationships: Penny Haywood & Player Character, Penny Haywood/Player Character
Comments: 29
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

The sun shone its last rays of the day through the Hogwarts Express' window, casting a warm orange glow inside James' compartment. The sixteen year-old Gryffindor student was completely lost in his thoughts, his eyes fixed on the passing landscape without really seeing it. That last summer back home had been difficult, and James knew his relationship with his parents would never be the same - he had gotten into a huge fight with them over a matter that had become pivotal in his life: his infamous brother, Jacob Hawklett.  
For years, James had done nothing at Hogwarts but search for him, following in his footsteps as he unlocked the secrets of the cursed vaults, trying to discover what had happened to his brother. Jacob had gone missing a year before James started school. That seemed to be a lifetime ago. All these years, he had neglected his studies, broken school rules countless times, and endangered his friends – and possibly the whole school, without realising it, his mind only focused on a single thing: finding and saving his brother.  
Spending all his time investigating every nook and cranny of the huge castle's darkest parts, unraveling its mysteries, he had never really bonded with any of his friends - despite deeply caring for them. His best friend Rowan and Penny Haywood, a Hufflepuff girl in the same year as them were of course an exception - the former was the very first Hogwarts student James had met, five years ago, and Penny...well they had grown closer and closer, to the point where their friendship was one of the things James treasured the most in his life. As for his other friends...he felt like he had used them only to fulfill his schemes - so many times that it was amazing, in hindsight, that they were still his friends at all.

But throughout his whole search for the vaults, his parents had certainly been the most confusing part. At first they were completely opposed to him searching for his brother, “ _Are you mad, son? You are completely incapable of following him, you're weak, useless. If even Jacob didn't manage, how could you? Anyway, Jacob will reappear eventually._ ” James had not been surprised at their reaction: his whole childhood, he had been compared to Jacob, and found to be lesser. His brother was the genius, and he was just a disappointment. But arriving at Hogwarts, much to his surprise, James was proven to be extremely gifted at magic. Even without paying attention in classes and almost never spending time in the library, he seemed to be a natural at mastering all the various spells and potions they studied.  
Around the end of his third year, his parents had completely changed their mind. Perhaps it was his academical prowess, or the fact that he had succesfully conquered two cursed vaults already. James suspected that after three years, they were just starting to lose hope that their favourite son Jacob would be able to come back without help. For the first time in James' life, his parents started to encourage him, giving him advice and even teaching him new powerful spells. He knew it wouldn't last, and most of their encouragements sounded hollow anyway, but he was happy nonetheless.  
Then last year – his fifth year at Hogwarts, happened. James finally found his brother, who had been trapped in a vault for years. But it didn't go as planned, and although their reunion was somewhat happy, Jacob disappeared again. Adding to James' distress, his brother's disappearance led to this summer's quarrel with his parents. He was “ _a disappointment, again_ ” _._ He “ _hadn't done enough_ ”. He “ _should've stopped Jacob, brought him back by force if necessary_ ”. Jacob “ _must have gone away again because of him_ ”, he “ _hadn't said enough_ ”, or “ _too much_ ”, or – .  
James sighed. Perhaps the hardest thing for him wasn't his parents' reaction, or his brother leaving him again. Perhaps it wasn't even Rakepick's betrayal in the vault. He had thought about the events again and again, for the past two months. Reconsidered those five whole years he had spent at Hogwarts. The hardest thing for him was the realisation about how much danger he had been putting his friends into, during all this time. He had been a fool - a reckless, selfish fool. He glanced at Rowan, who was sleeping on the bench, and felt a twinge of guilt. His best friend had been there for him ever since they started school together, five years ago. He had accompanied him in most of his adventures, sometimes getting hurt, all because of James' obsession with his brother. And that was only Rowan; thinking about all his other friends, Penny, Ben, Charlie, Bill...he felt his guilt rise even more, and a lump formed in his throat.

The compartment's door suddenly opened, bursting James' bubble of thought. Penny stood in the entrance and smiled brightly at him, her blonde hair gleaming like solid gold in the dim light from the train's old lanterns – the night had fallen for a little while and James hadn't even noticed.  
“Hey James! I missed you, how was your summer?” she grinned, sitting next to him.  
“Hi, Penny! Uh...let's say it could have been better, I'm glad I'm back. I missed you too! How was yours? And how come I didn't see you in the train before, I looked for you?” he said, smiling at the girl.  
Penny's smile faltered slightly. “Was it your parents? I thought it would turn out fine, you managed to rescue your brother after all.”.  
James chuckled. “Yeah well, you know... He went away again – and apparently it's my fault and they were just disappointed in me. We had a huge fight, if you can believe it.”  
“It's not your fault James, I hope you know that. Don't mind your parents, you did great.” Penny answered firmly, frowning. She took his hand and pressed it gently and James felt his cheeks redden suddenly. He glanced at her and she pulled her hand back, blushing slightly. Rowan suddenly stirred and opened his eyes, saving them from this awkward moment.  
"Oh, hey Pen'! What's up?” he croaked.  
“Hey Rowan! Well my summer was great, I hope yours was too!” She turned back to James, adding “And you didn't see me earlier because I'm a prefect, remember? I was in the prefect's compartment for the meeting.”  
“Oooh that's true, I totally forgot!" said James, adding in a silly tone "Penny Haywood, Hogwarts' best prefect.” which made her burst out laughing.

As they continued chatting, James thought back to his fourth year; he remembered being offered a chance at becoming a prefect by professor McGonagall and declining it completely, too focused on the vaults. He should have tried, being a prefect seemed a less dull prospect if it meant spending more time with Penny. He frowned, embarassed by his train of thought.  
The Hogwarts Express started slowing down, and suddenly Penny got up. “Oh you still haven't changed into your robes! I'll leave you guys alone.”  
James frowned, confused and still half-lost in his thoughts. “What? But...why are you going?”  
Blushing, Penny looked at him. James' brain finally caught up with what Penny said and he suddenly blushed too. “Uh...no – wait, I didn't get it... That's not... Yeah, see you at the feast!” he said, shaking his head.  
“Yeah, see ya!” she smiled at him and closed the door behind her.  
James was still looking at the door, the image of Penny's bright blue eyes lingering in his mind. Rowan's chuckle brought him back to earth. “James, you have to change, we're arriving. You'll ask her out later” he said, snickering.  
“I – what? What do you mean?” he frowned, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks.  
“Nothing, nothing – just put on your robes fast, come on!”

They sat at the Gryffindor table, where Penny, Tonks, Ben and Barnaby were already waiting for them. As the first years were sorted in the different houses, James caught up with all his friends. Penny had spent the holidays brewing new potions and going on trips to gather ingredients, Tonks had traveled to France and Spain with her parents, Barnaby had been on a trip with his uncle near Scarborough to track a rare species of erumpent, and Ben had basically spent his whole summer at Rowan's house.  
As the feast started and they all ate and chatted happily, James couldn't help but grin. Far more than his own parents' house, Hogwarts was definitely his home – and his friends were his true family. He felt lucky to have them at all, it didn't seem evident for him to make friends at first when he arrived at Hogwarts. When he set foot inside the school he was already considered “cursed” by most students, his infamous brother had unleashed numerous dangers threatening all the students in his search for the cursed vaults – before disappearing. In hindsight, James realised he had actually done the same and suddenly felt downhearted.  
As if Tonks was reading his mind, she suddenly asked him, “Hey by the way, James – what's the plan, when are we starting the search for the last vault?”  
He winced. He really didn't want to talk about the vaults that soon. “I...don't plan on doing that, actually. Didn't you see what happened last year? It's too dangerous - plus, I already found my brother, and I promised Dumbledore I would stop.” he sighed.  
“James is right, last year was terrible, I don't think we should go any further.” said Penny, seemingly worried. James felt relieved that she had taken his side.  
"Awww come on, the vaults were the only thing keeping those boring school years interesting! Don't tell me you only searched for them for your brother, I know you enjoyed the thrill too. Besides, since when did you start to listen to the headmaster?” She had said the last part while morphing her face into Dumbledore's, imitating his voice, and effectively relieving the tension as everyone laughed.  
“Tonks, I'll have a boring school year for once, thank you very much.” James smiled.  
Ben nodded gratefully but Rowan frowned. “School years at Hogwarts are never boring, what do you guys even mean? I've read about what muggles study at school – now that could be called boring.”  
"To me, every class except those involving magical creatures are boring.” Barnaby said, frowning in confusion.  
James chuckled, “You know what I mean. A calm, relaxing year, full of studies, hanging out with friends at Hogsmeade, and...whatever students of our age do.”  
“Snog all day in empty classrooms, you mean?” Tonks said, laughing out loud.  
Unconsciously, James shot a glance at Penny. She was looking at him too, and then they both looked away, blushing furiously. What was wrong with him? It was just Penny, he had known her for five years now! Fortunately, nobody else seemed to have noticed their reaction, as Rowan and Ben were looking at their plates with red faces too, and Barnaby was frowning deeply.  
“What is a snog? Is it an animal or something?” he asked, looking thoroughly bewildered. They all exploded in laughter.

As they retreated to their dormitory, James, Rowan and Ben met up with Charlie Weasley. His brothers – twins – had been sorted in Gryffindor and he had spent the evening with them.  
“Are all Weasleys always sorted in Gryffindor?” Ben asked, curious. “Well... I think I had a great-aunt that was in Slytherin. Other than her, I think so, yes. Bravery seems to run in the family.” he said, chuckling.  
“I look forward to meeting your brothers, Charlie.” James said as he climbed inside his bed.  
He noticed Ben climbing in the same bed as Rowan and rose an eyebrow at them. “We got used to this during the summer – don't worry we'll just be sleeping.” Rowan said as Charlie snickered.  
James shook his head and smiled. “Yeah, no problem guys, good night!”  
As the lights went off and everyone else fell into sleep, James stayed awake, feeling uneasy. He couldn't help but feel like he had been missing something important. Being back at Hogwarts was nice and felt homely, but it brought back painful memories of the end of last year – of Rakepick, his professor, friend and mentor, and her ultimate betrayal once inside the vault. Of his brother, who seemed so distant, almost cold towards him. Of all his friends being hurt, Merula hit by a Cruciatus curse, Penny's desperate look inside the vault... His mind lingered on Penny. What was the matter with her anyway? He was feeling butterflies in his stomach the whole time when he was with her this evening. He didn't even know if this was something new, or if he had just never noticed it before, being too focused on his brother. He would have to sort this out later. He exhaled deeply as he finally found sleep, his mind drifting into eerie dreams full of golden braids, sapphire eyes, and his brother calling him.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks passed and James fell into a routine that was entirely new to him. He had never really studied intensely before, and found the activity to be, quite surprisingly, enjoyable. Spending evenings with Rowan in the library, occasionally joined by Penny, he discovered there were unsuspected gaps in his academic education – subtleties, details he had overlooked in spells and potions he thought he had mastered perfectly. Studying the theory behind each spell proved to be a fascinating pastime and it often led to him rushing to the training grounds to try some new combination or alteration on spells he already knew.  
He also spent time reviewing his knowledge in potions, a subject that Penny fully mastered. She was very enthusiastic about helping him, spending hours gushing about the various uses of many ingredients. James discovered a whole new dimension to potion making: he had always been good at following instructions and memorizing them; but had never realised there was a purpose for every ingredient and every action, never understood the complex and beautiful alchemy linking them, forming the final result. He had missed so much, and was in awe at how much Penny had taught him in just a few evenings of studying together. It made him look at her with renewed admiration.  
To be honest, James enjoyed his evening study sessions with the Hufflepuff girl for other, non-academical, reasons too – simply relishing the time spent with her, watching her cheeks take a rosy tint when she talked about a particularly interesting potion, her blue eyes sparkle when James understood something she was trying to explain, her melodious laughter when he said something funny. He was starting to realise that Rowan might be true after all, he was crushing hard on Penny Haywood.  
Besides studying, the only other hobby James had was physical training. Four times a week, he woke up sooner than probably every other student in the castle and went to the Room of Requirement to train, a habit he had picked up last year in order to prepare to face whatever was inside the vault. Even without an imminent danger menacing him this year, James had decided to continue his training, just in case. The physical exhaustion he usually felt for the rest of the day helped him to focus on his classes anyway.

On one particular evening near Halloween, as he was studying wound cleaning potions with Penny alone, she turned to him with a thoughtful look on her face.  
“I was wondering, James – Would you mind accompanying me sometimes when I brew my potions in Snape's lab? I could use the company – and... I mean, you seem to like potions now, so I thought I might suggest this.” she said, smiling.  
Penny had been, to James' knowledge, the only student ever to be allowed access to Snape's private brewing lab in the dungeons. Her proficency in potions was recognised even by the stern professor, and James knew she spent a lot of her time there, trying out complicated mixtures, N.E.W.T-level and beyond. He might have taken too much time thinking before answering, however, because Penny looked suddenly embarassed.  
“If you don't want to it's alright, it was just – “  
“No – no! I mean yes, of course I want to, it would be amazing!” suddenly alarmed. The perspective of spending more time with Penny alone would have been enough for him to accept already, but he also had always been curious about what kind of incredible elixirs and draughts she was preparing in her free time.  
“Great!” she said smiling, breathing in relief.  
Wincing, he tried to reassure her, “Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. I really enjoy the moments we spend together, you know, and I'd love to have more...uh...I mean, studying. Potions, you know.” he stammered.  
She laughed merrily. "Yes, I know.” she answered, her eyes sparkling.  
They looked at each other for a moment, until James felt heat rise in his cheeks and he heard himself ask in a small voice “So, what are you brewing in the lab anyway?”  
“Oh, I'm currently brewing some Veritaserum – it's incredible how complex that potion is. It's halfway ready, there's still about two more weeks to go before it's finished. You'll see, I think you'll like it. How about you come with me...let's say...Saturday morning, if you're free?” she said, seemingly excited.  
“That would be perfect. I'm free after breakfast.”

“That's basically a date.” Rowan said that night in their dormitory, smirking, after James recounted what happened.  
“No, of course not. It's just...studying advanced potions” James retorted.  
“Studying potions, alone with Penny? I don't think she's ever invited anyone to do that.” Rowan laughed.  
“Well...I'm just very interested in potions, that's all”  
“Very interested in potions or very interested in Penny, I wonder...”  
James didn't even answer, he just closed his curtains before Rowan could notice him blushing.

The next couple of days passed in a haze, and Saturday arrived much sooner than James had expected. He got out of the Room of Requirement feeling exhausted as ever, and slightly annoyed at his own stupidity: he was so unfocused, thinking only about Penny while training, that he had managed to hurt himself. It was nothing he couldn't fix with his wand, but the pain had made him grumpy and he looked forward to taking a long hot bath and a copious breakfast afterwards.  
As he walked through the empty corridors, his mind gradually filled with an anxious, uneasy feeling. He felt certain that somebody was watching him. Turning around, he pulled his wand out and waited, staying as immobile as possible; but he saw and heard nothing. Frowning, he said out loud “Is somebody there?”  
No answer. He sighed and relaxed slightly, continuing to walk towards the Gryffindor tower, when the disturbing feeling grew even more intense. Something was definitely wrong, he could almost feel someone right behind him. He glanced backwards and still saw nothing. “I'm really not in the mood, whoever this is!” he shouted.  
His vision blurred all of a sudden, and his panic rose even more.  
“Agh - Fuck! _Flipendo_!”  
James had yelled the spell instinctively, out of fear and frustration. He saw the blue flash of light pass through the corridor and crash against the wall a fraction of a second later, with a loud crack. He still saw nobody, but his sight cleared again. He ran back to his dormitory, sweating profusely, and went straight inside the bathroom, ignoring Rowan and Ben's confused looks. What had just happened? He was sure he had felt a presence, but was also fairly certain the corridor was empty. It was not usual for him to get as rattled as this. Casting a random aimless spell inside a corridor – someone could have been hurt, what was he thinking? He exhaled deeply. Perhaps the meeting with Penny was stressing him out more than he cared to admit. He decided to take a quick cold shower, he had already lost too much time and he didn't want to be late.  
Ben and Rowan were waiting for him in the dormitory when he got out. "What happened, James? You looked livid when you entered.” Rowan said with furrowed brows.  
“I'll tell you on the way, let's go get breakfast, I'm starving” James answered.

He finished his story as they entered the Great Hall. Looking around, they didn't spot any of their friends, so they just sat at the Gryffindor table.  
“...and which corridor was it? I need to know which part of the castle I have to avoid from now on” said Ben, looking rather horrified.  
“Seventh floor, but I don't think you really need to be scared, Ben – as I said, I'm pretty sure it was my imagination, I was upset and not thinking clearly.” James said with an apologetic smile. He definitely didn't want Ben to be scared more than necessary.  
Rowan chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows, “Upset, huh? Anything to do with something you're doing after breakfast?”  
“Nope.” James answered simply.  
“Yeah, right.” Rowan said, unconvinced. “By the way, don't forget to go back and Reparo that wall you blasted. You can't just leave it cracked like that, James, those stones have history!”  
Tonks suddenly appeared and sat in front of them. “Wait – what am I hearing? Demolishing the school and not even inviting me?” she said in a fake-outraged voice that made him chortle.  
“It's really not what you think, but I promise I'll call you next time, Tonks” James replied.

He had agreed to meet Penny in front of the Great Hall's entrance after breakfast, and was relieved to see he had arrived before her – he didn't want to be late. Waiting for her, he started checking his clothes, wondering if they were appropriate. He was beginning to think a hoodie and jeans were maybe too casual, when he remember this was _not_ a date and there was no reason to dress in any particular way. He winced, Rowan's words had really gotten him confused.  
“Hey, James!” said a small voice. Penny was standing next to him, her eyes gleaming happily.  
James smiled, almost uncontrollably. “Hi. Have you eaten already? I can wait if you didn't.” he said.  
“No, I ate early today, we can go right now if you're ready” said Penny excitedly.  
They walked together through the dungeons' gloomy corridor, passing in front of the Hufflepuff Common Room, the Kitchens, the Potions classroom, and Snape's private ingredient storeroom. Penny guided him towards a small wooden door James had never noticed before. They entered the room and James raised his eyebrows in surprise - the view thoroughly astonished him. The walls were lined with wooden shelves up to the ceiling, stacked with hundreds of vials and jars of different sizes and colours, casting prismatic lights all across the room. There were two alcoves in the room, each one containing a small table and a cauldron, puffing wisps of multicolored smoke. As Penny led him to the cauldron on the left, James guessed the right one must be used by Snape himself.  
“This room looks absolutely amazing, Penny” he said in awe.  
“I know, right?” she smiled. “I always feel so at peace in here. I knew you'd like it.”  
James approached her cauldron and looked at the bubbling mixture inside. The potion's texture looked thick, with shimmering colors that fascinated his eyes for a few minutes. Penny was already busying herself, slicing greenish roots that he didn't recognize. He smiled – she looked extremel pretty when she was focused. After she sprinkled the roots carefully inside the cauldron, she looked at him and grinned. “So, what do you think?” she asked.  
“Well - can I help? I mean, I'm perfectly fine just watching you and I know you don't really need any help – but maybe I could do something?” he asked.  
“Sure! Let's see...uh... We'll have to add some valerian sprigs in...” she stopped nad surveyed the cauldron's content for a few seconds. “...probably ten minutes. You could go fetch some, and cut them in small chunks, if you don't mind? I'll take care of the lovage seeds during this time – I need to add them one by one.”  
James didn't need to be told twice – he was eager to help. Reaching for a scale, his hand brushed on Penny's, who was doing the same thing. The sudden contact made both of them blush, and an awkward silence settled for a few minutes. As he sliced and weighed the sprigs, he suddenly asked curiously "Isn't Veritaserum supposed to be clear and colourless?”  
She smiled broadly “Yes! The final result will be – I hope. The potion hasn't matured enough, what you're seeing is only halfway done.”  
He nodded and was about to ask another question but Penny seemed to have read his mind and said, “Normally the potion should be left alone to mature for a month, but I'm testing a theory from professor Snape, about increasing its effects. What we're doing today isn't in the usual recipe.” she said, smiling, as she added the valerian to the concoction.  
James raised his eyebrows. What they were doing suddenly became even more interesting. “So...the valerian sprigs...you're adding them for their calming effect on the mind?”  
She looked at him excitedly, “Yes, exactly! And the seeds cause very mild confusion – and I'm trying to induce slight contentment from –   
“Borage root!” they both said at the same time, as James remembered the green roots from earlier. They both laughed out loud. Penny had ranted about borage roots and leaves' fascinating properties about a month ago.  
“You remember that?” she said, her eyes sparkling.  
“I remember everything you tell me, Penny.” he retorted.  
She smiled at him. Her hair was messier than usual – loose golden strands fell wildly around her head, and her skin was slightly glistening with sweat caused by the cauldron's smoke. He couldn't help but think she was beautiful. Penny suddenly blushed. "I'm sorry, by the way... I didn't plan for you to be my assistant, I didn't bring you here for that.”  
“Don't be – it was fine, I liked it. What did you bring me here for?” he chuckled.  
“Well, I thought you might find it interesting, and I know you never had the occasion to visit this room. And...I – “  
James didn't hear what she was going to say. He felt a sudden pressure around his skull, his vision dimmed, and the feeling from earlier in the morning – like he was being watched – returned. He shook his head trying to make it go away. His vision cleared and he saw Penny's confused and worried look.  
“Are you alright?” she asked.  
“Nah – something's wrong. Wait a minute.”  
He looked around, then ran to the door and opened it, peering outside the room. There was no one, which was only confusing; he was so sure of what he had felt - an oppressing presence in the room with them. He returned to Penny's side.  
“You didn't feel anything...weird, did you?” he asked her.  
“No... What happened?” she answered in an anxious voice.  
He sighed and explained what happened earlier in the morning and what he had felt just moments ago. Penny frowned and looked at him with visible worry on her face. “Maybe you should tell a professor? Or Dumbledore?” she asked.  
“I don't know...maybe. I wasn't sure if I had imagined it earlier, but now I really think it isn't normal, it's almost as if – “ He paused. It suddenly became clear and he facepalmed. “ – as if someone was trying to enter my mind.” he finished.  
Penny looked at him perplexed for a few seconds, and then her eyes widened. “You mean... Your brother? He's a legilimens isn't he?” she asked cautiously.  
“I don't know...it might be him. I won't speak to Dumbledore just yet, if it's Jacob I want to know first.”  
Penny frowned but nodded understandingly. “We should probably go anyway, lunch should have started by now. And we're done with the potion for today.” she said with a soft voice.  
James nodded. As she closed the door carefully behind them, he noticed a slightly disappointed look on her face.  
“Penny?” he asked.  
“Yes?” she said, turning her bright blue eyes at him.  
“Thank you. I mean, for showing me this place, and...everything. It was amazing, you were right, I enjoyed it a lot."  
She smiled happily, “I enjoyed it too, it was nice to have some company...I mean, you, around.”  
She stopped and hugged James briefly before they both headed towards the Great Hall. As they walked, he desperately hoped she didn't notice the excessive increase in his heartrate.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days passed and there was still no new incident. Of course, James thought – now that he wanted the intrusion to happen again, it didn't. As he was eating lunch with Penny, Rowan, Tonks and Tulip, he suddenly thought about something.  
“Hey Ro', by the way, do you know if Hogwarts' grounds are protected against mind attacks? I know you can't apparate in or out, and, I mean...can someone try to invade your mind from outside, or something like that?”  
Everyone turned towards Rowan as he frowned, thinking. “I...don't think I've read about anything like this. There are a ton of protective spells and enchantments at work to protect the students, but...countering mind attacks? I don't even know if there are spells for that – there's occlumency of course, but it's different.”  
James nodded and muttered thoughtfully, “So it still could very well be Jacob...”  
“There's nothing protecting us if someone outside is trying to read our minds? That's a pretty huge overlook if you ask me” said Penny, frowning slightly.  
“To be fair, I don't think many people are powerful enough to do that from a distance. Usually a legilimens needs to be right in front of you to attempt anything – I should know, my aunt is one.” Tulip explained casually.  
“Wait - your aunt is a legilimens? You never told me!” Tonks said, surprised.  
“Yeah, well...it was terrible, I hated visiting her with my parents when I was a kid. She always knew everything everyone in the room was thinking, and it always led to awkward situations.” Tulip answered, wincing. “But I'm pretty sure she couldn't do it from a distance – we used to hide in the garden hut to plan pranks on her with my cousin, and she couldn't read us in there.” she added.  
James looked at her in confusion. If legilimens weren't that powerful, maybe it wasn't Jacob at all? These past few days, he had gotten used to the idea of his brother trying to contact him, almost hoping for it, but maybe it was too far-fetched. In any case, he needed to be careful.  
“Don't stress yourself too much about it, James” he heard Penny say softly.  
“Yeah – if it happens again you'll have your answer, and if it doesn't, good riddance!” Rowan said.  
“Thanks” James said weakly. He smiled at his friends, feeling warm and really grateful to have them.

Friday evening, they had double history of magic with the Hufflepuffs. As Tonks, Penny, and Charlie were playing Exploding Snap in the back of the classroom, professor Binns' dull monotone voice slowly lulled James into sleep.  
He was plunged into darkness; he couldn't move at all, and was sure that he felt someone else in his mind. The eerie feeling sent shivers down his spine, but this time, instead of trying to make it go away, he tried to connect with it. “Jacob?” he thought.  
“Finally! Hey, pip! I've been trying to contact you for ages! Your mental defenses are strong but you don't have to keep me out.”  
“So it was you!” James said in relief. “How are you? What are you doing? Why did you leave?” He had so many questions, but he sensed a feeling of impatience coming from his brother.  
“No time for that. I needed to ask you, what's your progress on the next vault?”  
“What? But... I don't plan on searching for it. I promised Dumbledore.”  
James could definitely feel the burst of anger coming from his brother. “You _what_? No, you have to search for the vault. I need you to – you need to find it. If you don't, Rakepick and R will reach it first and we'll have done it all for nothing!”  
“But...I didn't do it for nothing. I already found and rescued you. Besides, you told me last year to _stop_ searchinf for them.” James said, confused.  
“No – no, things changed, you don't understand the powers at stake, James! You _have_ to go. And Rakepick is coming, be careful!”  
A sudden pain shot through his arm woke him up. He was on the floor of the classroom and winced - he probably fell during his sleep.  
Penny ran by his side and asked worriedly, helping him up, “Are you alright, James? Something happened?”  
“Tell you later.” he whispered.  
His head was throbbing furiously and as he sat down, his face reddened, feeling the whole class stare at him. A Hufflepuff boy even shouted “Cursed!” – but professor Binns was still continuing his lecture, impassive.  
As they exited the classroom, Penny, Tonks, Rowan and Ben stayed with him and he recounted to them what had transpired in his dream. Penny seemed furious that his brother would ask him to endanger himself again, and Tonks, seeing her reaction, tried to hide her excitement concerning the vaults – but James reckoned she failed miserably; Tonks had never really been subtle. Rowan was the one that offered the best advice to him: he absolutely needed to tell Dumbledore everything. They all agreed to that, and James decided to go pay the headmaster a visit as soon as he would have free time.

Between the work he had to do and his training, it wasn't until three days later, after class, that the occasion presented itself.  
“You may enter” he heard Dumbledore say behind his office's door.  
The headmaster was sitting behind his desk, studying one of his mysterious bronze devices. He looked up to James and smiled. “To what do I owe the pleasure, James?”  
“I wanted to speak to you, professor. It's about my brother.”  
Dumbledore crossed his fingers and gave him a gentle smile. “Please, sit down and tell me all about it. Did Jacob try to contact you?”  
“Yes – wait, how did you know?” James replied, surprised.  
Dumbledore winked, “I had my suspicions that he would try something like this soon. And so, what did your brother want to talk to you about?”  
James sighed and explained to the headmaster how Jacob had tried to establish contact for days by entering his mind, scaring him in the process; how he had finally managed to talk to him during his sleep (he wisely avoided to mention the nap occured in the middle of a lesson), and what his brother told him. Dumbledore listened silently with an unreadable expression, and even when James had finished, the headmaster stayed silent for a few minutes before speaking again.  
“And you're telling me he spoke to you in your mind – telepathically?” he said, frowning slightly.  
“Yes, professor.”  
“I have to warn you, this goes beyond the powers of simple legilimancy, James. There must be a special connection between your brother and yourself.”  
“Tulip thought it wasn't possible too.” James remarked with a frown, remembering what she had told him days before.  
“And your friend miss Karasu was quite right. It is, to say the least, unexpected. Now – I must ask you, James, if you have given thought about what you are going to do.” Dumbledore said gravely.  
“To be honest, professor, I don't really know. On one hand, I know I promised you to focus on my studies – and I've really tried doing so this year. And my brother was saved from the vaults last year anyway, so I really have no reason to go search for the next one. But...on the other hand, it is hard for me to ignore what Jacob said. Rakepick...R...they are still out there. What will happen if I let them...and with what they did last year – ” He didn't finish his sentence, he looked up and was surprised to see Dumbledore smiling.  
“If you'll allow me to interrupt, James, I need you to understand one thing. Patricia Rakepick and the group that call themselves 'R', their responsibility is not yours to shoulder. As a student of Hogwarts, your responsibility is to focus on your studies as hard as possible – which you have done brilliantly until now. It might relieve you, however, to know that the staff of Hogwarts and myself are doing everything we can to prevent any danger that might befall the school. Much remains to be discovered about 'R', but the ministry is currently keeping Patricia Rakepick under constant surveillance without her knowing. So you see, James, you shouldn't worry yourself too much about this matter.”  
James frowned. “I just...I don't want anyone in the school to be hurt again. Jacob and me, we've put everyone in danger so many times already.” he muttered sadly.  
Dumbledore's gaze softened. “While your disregard for school rules has proven worrisome to me these past years, all you have done was undo your brother's mistakes. It is my belief that your intentions were pure – and the intention behind one's actions matters greatly. I personally think you should be proud of yourself.” said the headmaster. “Now – to focus back on the matter at hand. If you permit me to give you advice, I must again urge you not to take any action that might put yourself or your friends in unnecessary danger. I cannot forbid you to remain in contact with your brother, even though it is unadvisable considering the nature of that contact. But a bond between siblings is always strong.”  
James stayed silent, looking at his shoes, and the headmaster waited a few minutes before adding “I realise it is not an easy task to do nothing, but in this case I would say it is the best course of action – for now. I must also insist that you come to me if there are new developments to the current events, or if you discover something. For your safety – and the safety of the whole school.”  
“I understand, professor. I will.” James nodded.

As James walked out, and was pondering over the conversation that had just happened, he met Merula climbing the stairs towards the headmaster's office. They both froze, looking at each other. They hadn't spoken ever since last year's incursion inside the portrait vault, where Merula had been subjected to the Cruciatus Curse by Rakepick. James suddenly felt ashamed for not catching up with her and making sure she was okay.  
“Hey, Merula. What are you doing here?” he asked casually.  
“What are _you_ doing here?” she retorted, raising an eyebrow.  
They stayed silent for a few seconds. “Uh...I had to speak with Dumbledore.” James finally answered.  
“Well, same here.” she said, sighing. “Alright then, well...good luck!” he said, not knowing what to add.  
Merula huffed and turned back, but that was not good, James felt he needed to say something more. “Merula?” he tried with a hesitating voice.  
“What?” she said, rolling her eyes as she turned towards him again.  
“Are you...uh...I mean, how are you?”  
“That's none of your – “ she started angrily, but then interrupted herself, sighing again. “I mean, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?” she asked in an almost defying tone.  
“I don't know...with what happened to you last year – to us all, actually, I thought maybe...well, I just hope you're doing okay I guess.”  
Merula frowned at him, and James hoped he hadn't said too much. “As I said, I'm fine. And I will be even better, when I find that Rakepick hag and curse her into oblivion. What did you think? Her _crucio_ was nothing, I've had worse. My parents used to – “ She interrupted herself again and suddenly looked furious at James. “Enough!” she said.  
And without another word, she climbed up the stairs quickly and disappeared. James stood there silently for a moment, then shook his head and walked back to the Gryffindor tower.

When he entered his common room, it was unusually empty. Sitting comfortably on the best couch by the fireplace, he closed his eyes and thought about what had just happened. He cursed himself silently for mentioning last year's events to Merula, in hindsight he probably shouldn't have.  
Merula and him had never exactly been friendly, but during their fifth year, while working together under Rakepick's guidance, Merula seemed to slowly grow out of her childish feud with James, and their four-year-long conflict was brought to a truce. A peace he wished to maintain; he had always known Merula wasn't an inherently bad person anyway, and he already had enough enemies as it was – he certainly didn't miss the impromptu duels she used to provoke him into.  
What she said about Rakepick also concerned him. If revenge against their ex-mentor was really the only way for Merula to feel better, she truly wasn't as fine as she would have him believe. Was she going to try and go after her alone? He sighed. While he himself harbored the hope that Rakepick would face justice as soon as possible, he wasn't hell-bent on revenge – or at least not enough to lose his mind and search for her.  
James looked at the sky through the window and suddenly got up. He remembered it was dinner time – that must have been why there was nobody in the common room.  
“Dammit.” he muttered aloud. He didn't want to miss the feast, he had just realised he was furiously hungry – and it was also the perfect opportunity to keep all his friends updated about the talk with Dumbledore. He got out of the portrait hole and raced towards the Great Hall. The chattering and clattering noises indicated the feast wasn't over yet and he sighed in relief. He spotted Penny's blonde braided hair almost immediately; she was sitting with Ben, Rowan, Barnaby, Tulip, Tonks and Charlie at the left-most table. She saw him too and waved at him to come, smiling.  
“Where were you, James? Dinner's almost over” she asked, as he sat beside her.  
"Uh...kinda almost forgot dinner, actually. I went to Dumbledore's office.”  
His other friends interrupted their conversations and looked at him, eager to hear what had transpired.  
“So, what did he say?” Rowan asked.  
James wondered for a second what they were so excited about. They would probably be disappointed. He explained to them simply, “Well he basically told me to do nothing, they had everything in control and I should focus on my studies. And...uh...he also told me Jacob wasn't supposed to be able to talk to me in the first place, so there's that. You were right, Tulip.”  
Everybody fell silent for a while. James grabbed a portion of shepherd's pie and started eating, all the while trying to recall the conversation to see if he had forgotten anything. Ben was the first to speak, after a few minutes.  
“Well that was entirely unhelpful.” he said, visibly worried.  
Surprised at his reaction, James replied, “I know, but...to be honest I didn't expect much, there's really nothing I can do for now. It was important that I inform Dumbledore about my brother, though, so I still think I did the right thing.”  
Tonks seemed agitated, “We kind of hoped you and Dumbledore would come up with a plan. Tulip's parents told her Rakepick had been sighted in Hogsmeade, and – “  
“She _what_?" he said, dropping his fork. "I thought she was on the run, Dumbledore told me the ministry was tailing her.” James said, alarmed.  
“Yeah – that's how they know, my parents work at the ministry so they know what's going on. The aurors haven't made a move yet, they are waiting for the right moment – apparently she hasn't been doing anything suspicious.” Tulip said, shrugging.  
“She's so close to the school...” Ben said.  
“Maybe she wants to teach Defense against the Dark Arts again? But I prefer Bill.” Barnaby said with a frown.  
“I don't think so. She's probably here for the last vault, Barnaby.” James sighed.  
Why had Dumbledore kept quiet to him about Rakepick being so close to Hogwarts? Was everything really under control, as he said it was? Maybe he feared James would rush to Hogsmeade to confront Rakepick if he learned that she was there. He wouldn't – but putting himself in the headmaster's shoes, thinking about his own past actions, he understood why anyone would think that. He suddenly realised Jacob had tried to warn him. Rakepick is coming, he said...  
“Just...please be careful, everyone. R did threaten to kill one of my friends – and you're all my closest friends. And – and I care about you, I don't want anything to happen to you guys.” he told them with sadness in his voice.  
“Don't worry about us, we'll be fine.” Tonks said, grinning.  
“We should probably avoid Hogsmeade for a while, though.” Rowan said, uncertain.  
“Nonsense. I need to visit Zonko's soon. She would never attack us in the middle of a town full of people – and there are aurors keeping an eye on her, remember?” Tonks said, still smiling.  
James didn't say anything. He looked around and his eyes met Penny's. She seemed just as worried as him.

After the feast, he went to the library with Penny and Rowan. They had a star chart to complete and two essays to write – one on everlasting elixirs, and the other about Alberta Toothill and witches' status in the medieval wizarding society. But no matter how much they tried to focus, none of them managed to write more than two lines in half an hour. Finally, Rowan sighed and started to gather his parchment and quills. “There's no use, we're not getting anything done...I'm gonna go to sleep early, good luck!”  
He stood up and winked at James behind Penny's back before going, an annoying habit he had taken recently every time he'd see James and Penny alone. James sighed and glanced at his desperately empty parchment.  
“He isn't wrong, I don't think we'll make much progress tonight. There's just...too much to think about, I guess.” he said to Penny.  
She smiled sadly and stared at him for a few seconds before asking “Are you alright, James?”  
“To be honest I'm worried and kinda confused, Penny. I don't know what to do.” he admitted to her.  
All these years, everything he had done to investigate the cursed vaults – breaking probably most school rules, endangering his friends, even allying himself with Rakepick despite not trusting her, had been towards one goal: to find his brother. Now that Jacob had been saved, he had naively thought that he could continue his studies normally, but everything seemed to drag him back towards the vaults – even his brother.  
Penny sighed and replied, “I'm worried too. What happened in the portrait vault last year was so dangerous – of course, we saved your brother and Bea, but...I still have nightmares about that dragon. And Rakepick...I had hoped never to hear about her again.” She placed her hand on James' arm and added “I worry about you.”  
“Wha – me? Why?” he said, confused.  
She chuckled, “You've put yourself in danger so many times. Saving us, then saving the school, then your brother and my sister... Every time the danger increased and you still fought, still saved the day. But this time...what if it's too much? Rakepick is crazy, I'm sure she would have killed us all in the vault if she could. How can we possibly fight this? And...why should we?" Her voice was so anxious and fragile, James had to resist the urge to hug her and tell her everything would be fine. She pressed his arm gently. “Whatever you choose to do, James, I'll help you in every way I can.” she added almost in a whisper.  
“No – I can't, they are threatening all my friends. That means you. And I couldn't bear it, if anything were to happen to you, I –“ his voice faltered.  
Penny smiled faintly, “Guess we'll have to keep each other close, then.”  
James looked at her bright blue eyes and smiled too, despite his anxiety. He felt butterflies in his stomach, something that happened quite regularly now, whenever he saw her. He knew this was definitely not the right moment to think about those things, but he had never felt this close to Penny – despite the unhappy circumstances.  
He didn't know how much time they could have spent just looking at each other, because Madam Pince quickly came and drove them out: the library was closing, it was almost curfew time. He said good night to Penny and climbed the stairs towards the Gryffindor common room, still feeling her hand on his arm.  
He abruptly came to a stop on the third floor. He thought he had heard something familiar, but couldn't exactly pinpoint what. Frowning, he grabbed his wand and entered the armor gallery cautiously. The corridor was empty and quiet – as was usual in this part of the castle at this time of the day. He was starting to think his nerves were playing tricks on him when a cloaked figure emerged from behind an armor stand. James immediately pointed his wand at it, but the figure removed his hood, revealing his face.  
“Jacob?!” James gasped.


	4. Chapter 4

Jacob smirked at him. From that distance, his brother didn't look any different than when he had last seen him, inside the portrait vault – but as James approached him, he started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and his slightly sunken cheeks. In the dim light, his figure was unnerving and seemed out of place in Hogwarts, wearing wine-red hooded robes with strange runes weaved on them, and a belt holding strange artifacts – _were those skulls?!_ – and at least two knives. This didn't help to calm his uneasiness and he instinctively kept his wand pointed at Jacob.  
“James.” his brother said calmly.  
“Is it really you, Jacob? What...why are you here?” James said, feeling his hand tremble.  
“Why, paying a visit to my dear brother of course.” he answered with a smile.  
“How did you even – and why now? What's happening?”  
“I'll explain – in a more private setting.”  
He led James inside the trophy room right next to the armor gallery. James' wand was still aimed at his brother, feeling on edge, and his heart skipped a beat when Jacob got his own wand out. But he didn't point it at him, he merely flicked his wand towards the door and the lock clicked. Non-verbal magic, James thought. He hadn't learned that yet.  
“You know, James, I get it, but it's still rude to point your wand at me like that." James hesitated but didn't comply. “Look – I'm putting mine away.” Jacob added, storing his wand swiftly into one of the countless folds of his robes.  
He reluctantly put his wand back into his pocket, still looking at his brother with slight apprehension. “So...what's going on, Jacob?” he asked hesitantly.  
“I needed to speak to you, in person. It was too unpredictable from a distance – I haven't fully mastered that power yet. How's school been going, this year?”  
“Great...Or a least it was – then, you told me to search for the last vault, then Rakepick came back, and now I'm not sure.” James frowned. He hoped he didn't sound too bitter or accusatory.  
"Nah don't worry, you don't sound like – sorry, won't read your thoughts again.” Jacob corrected himself, seeing the horrified look on James' face. “Listen – there's a reason I said all this, I'm sorry I couldn't clarify myself earlier. I know I told you to leave the cursed vaults to me last year, but...these past months I've learned more and know better. First of all, your fate is linked to the vaults just as mine. You've bested the four first vaults already, there's no way you can escape the last one now. And then – there's the fact that I can't do it alone. I need your help.”  
“Why don't you ask Dumbledore? Or any of the professors, really? They would all be better qualified than I'll ever be.”  
“Honestly, James... Do you really see Dumbledore welcoming me with open arms and helping me get inside the vault? The guy expelled me, for Merlin's sake! The old fool would just tell me to stop and trust him, as he always did. And even if he accepted, it wouldn't even work. It needs to be you.”  
James stayed silent, looking at the floor.  
“Think about the powers we'll unlock inside! The glory – for us, our family name.” Jacob continued, growing excited.  
“Family? Since when do you care about...have you even seen mom and dad since I've freed you?”  
“Actually, I returned home last month. And I've also learned how they treated you this summer. I was sorry to hear that. They won't bother you again.”  
It took a few seconds for James to register what his brother had just said, then he looked at him with wide eyes, feeling cold fear rise inside him. “Wait, what did you – “  
“Merlin's beard, James! I _talked_ to them. Did you think I'd killed them? Who do you think I am?”  
James suddenly felt very foolish. These past weeks had made him so nervous he couldn't even trust his own brother. The one person who had been there for him during his whole childhood, the one constant in his life – at least before he had disappeared. Weeks of piled-up stress came crashing inside him and he felt a lump form in his throat and tears in his eyes.  
“Alright pip, I understand this is a delicate situation, I don't blame you for being suspicious of me. It's weird, I know. Here I am, in a place I'm not supposed to be, dressed wildly, asking you to put your life at risk. But I promise, I'm still the same old Jacob you know. The one who taught you how to ride a broom when you were seven. Who protected you from our parents. I'm still your brother and you can trust me.”  
James looked at him, his vision blurry, and nodded. “What about Rakepick? She's somewhere near Hogsmeade. And R? They threatened my friends last year if I continued my quest for the vaults.” he muttered.  
Jacob scoffed, “Patricia is harmless. She won't be able to do anything as long as I'm near. I've already beaten her twice since I got out – she's in Hogsmeade to lick her wounds probably. Sly move, hiding near Dumbledore.” He had a hard look in his eyes that James didn't recognize at all. “And R...they threatened me too. But they never really did anything, they're just talk.” Jacob added.  
“But Rakepick said she was a member of R, last year.” James said with a frown.  
“What? Nonsense, she's not. She's a loner, she's always been, why would she... Unless – “ he interrupted himself.  
“Unless what?” James asked when Jacob stayed silent.  
“Nothing. I have to go. I'll contact you.”  
James had so many more questions, but in a matter of seconds Jacob had gotten his wand out, unlocked the door and disappeared. He sank to the floor and sat, hugging his knees. He didn't even know how much time had passed when he got back to his dormitory. Minutes? Hours? It was a miracle he didn't get caught by Filch or a professor on the way. James sighed in relief when he saw that everyone in the dormitory was asleep. He didn't have the strength to explain yet.

The next day, James woke up earlier than his friends and in a terrible mood. He headed straight to the Room of Requirement to work out; he needed to blow off some steam. The air inside the castle was chilly, November was approaching faster than he had expected.  
The Room had changed into his usual workout configuration. The walls were lined with large mirrors, reflecting the lights from the ancient chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and giving the room a bright and spacious look. Dumbbells, bars and various weights were aligned on a side of the room, while the rest of it was filled with regularly-spaced exercising machines. They were of muggle design – James had wondered, the first time he had inspected them, if normal wizards even exercised. He reckoned most wouldn't find it very useful, any wizard or witch could just alter their body's shape with a spell and drink a Strengthening Solution. He, however, disliked the idea of having to rely on a potion – _would Penny get upset at what he just thought?_ – whose effects were only temporary, and body-transfiguration spells only altered the the look of it, which would be useless in his curse-breaking adventures, unless acromantulas and dragons possessed the previously undiscovered weakness of being very highly impressed by superficially well-built bodies. Training also had the significant advantage of making him think about nothing else. No brother, no Rakepick, no death threats to his friends. Inside the Room of Requirement, as he was exhausting himself, those things didn't exist. He came out of it completely drained, sweating, his muscles stiff and his mood considerably improved and went straight to the showers, already thinking about breakfast.

“Something happened.” Penny told him during Herbology class.  
“What? Where?” James asked, worried.  
“No, I mean something happened to you. I can tell.” she replied.  
Penny's cute blue eyes looked at him with expectation, seemingly trying to draw the information from his mind. He wondered if she had hidden legilimency skills – but her mind-reading attempt didn't seem to bear fruit because she continued looking at him expectantly. She was probably just waiting for an answer.  
“Uh...yeah. Something definitely happened. I'll tell you later.” he said, sensing the stern look professor Sprout gave them.  
Penny nodded, seemingly satisfied, and they resumed working on their Snargaluff pod, trying to figure out the best way to extract its contents. James was relieved to be able to put off that conversation, even if it was only for a few hours. He was still confused and troubled about what had happened, and knew he wouldn't feel comfortable sharing it with anyone besides Penny and Rowan – at least for now.  
The pod suddenly burst open and spilled small green tubers all over the table, causing James to yelp in surprise, as Penny laughed out loud. They spent the remaining of the lesson cleaning everything up and gathering the spilled tubers and juice in a bowl. They were useful in a variety of potions James had never heard about, and Penny had convinced professor Sprout to let her pick up a few, for experimental purposes.  
As they exited the classroom, James pulled Penny and Rowan aside and told them about his brother's unexpected visit. As he recounted what his brother had said, their expressions went from shock to fear, and when he finished they looked just as confused as he himself had been.  
“Are you alright?” Penny asked him with a compassionate look.  
“Better now.” he answered, shrugging.  
“Your brother's a complete jerk, James.” said Rowan, shaking his head.  
He sighed deeply, “He's still my brother...even if he's been acting weirdly.”  
“Weirdly is an understatement! How did he even manage to get into Hogwarts without being detected?”  
“What, you can't just walk in, if you're not a muggle?” Penny asked. “Of course not! There are powerful protective charms all around, and if a person outside students and staff wants to enter, he has to wait by the eastern stone bridge until someone invites him in.”  
“Maybe he's still considered a student by those enchantments?” James wondered.  
“His expulsion was official and happened years ago, though...and he's an adult now. No way the spells failed, someone must have helped him in.”  
“But...that doesn't make any sense, he doesn't have friends here, most students hate him for the danger he put the school in.” James frowned.  
Rowan nodded, “Exactly, that's what's strange about all this. And don't get me started on him wanting your help to open the vaults for glory and power. Ugh...”  
“What are you going to do?” Penny asked him, with a tinge of worry in her voice.  
“To be honest, Penny, nothing yet. I'm not going to help him, that's for sure, don't worry about that. And....well he told me he'd contact me anyway, so again, I can only wait and hope nothing happens to him – or to us.”  
James wasn't lying about not wanting to help him. In fact, that was the part he was the most certain about, after his discussion with Jacob. He was upset and confused about a lot of things – especially not being able to trust his brother, barely recognizing him. Jacob had always been more ambitious, more exuberant with his skills. When he was younger he admired his brother for it, but now he was starting to realise the people that criticised his brother – and with whom he had argued so frequently, were maybe right, at least in part. His brother was more power-hungry than he remembered; he didn't even know if Jacob had always been like this or if his search for the vaults changed him for the worse.  
“It's going to be fine” said Penny softly, squeezing his arm reassuringly.

The rest of the day passed quickly, he was not really able to focus on his classes. He even cost Gryffindor five house points, as the charm he cast blasted the blackboard to charred pieces instead of writing on it, earning a rare disapproving look from professor Flitwick. He was not used to failing so hard in a charms lesson, and was relieved when the class was over. He headed to the Great Hall with Rowan, who did his best to comfort his hurt pride.  
As he sat besides his friends in the Hall, James decided he didn't want to tell the others anything about Jacob for the moment. He had many reasons for that. He didn't want to worry them, as he believed they already were scared enough with Rakepick so close to the school. He was also anxious about what they might think about his brother and about himself. He had defended Jacob for so long after all, had gone to great lengths to save him. Having him come back only to continue chasing the powers of the vaults – despite the dangers it put the school into, caused James to feel ashamed. Worse, he felt really bad about feeling ashamed of the situation. He felt like he was betraying Jacob.  
Trying to clear his mind from those somber thoughts, he asked “Rowan, do you know when we'll learn nonverbal spells?”  
“Yeah it's this year – I think it's scheduled in January. I'm actually looking forward to that, it seems fascinating. Why?”  
“Just wanted to know. Thought it might come in handy during duels.”  
Tonks chimed in, “You have no idea! I've been training for months trying to cast nonverbals. They are essential in advanced duels, and since I'm going to be an Auror...”  
She shrugged and took a bite of her treacle tart, as James turned to her with slight interest. “Have you managed to cast one? And how did you train?” he asked.  
“Oh, only simple spells, I can _Reparo_ and _Wingardium Leviosa_ without breaking a sweat. Other spells...not so much. I basically spend hours in front of those dummies on the training grounds, trying to cast something by just thinking about it. A trick I found is to focus on what you want, not the spell's wording. And you still have to move your wand correctly.”  
“Thanks, Tonks, I'll try that as soon as I have time.” James grinned.  
“Glad to be helpful!” she answered.

James was already thinking about when he could begin to practise casting nonverbal spells. He could probably ask the Room of Requirement to include training dummies on his next workout. The excitement was starting to grow inside him, he had finally found something active to do, a goal to reach. He really needed to get stronger if he wanted to protect his friends efficiently. It had been excruciatingly frustrating to watch Rakepick dodge and counter every spell he cast at her inside the portrait vault, and he could see exactly how performing them non-verbally would have helped. Seeing his brother's ability to do that only reinforced his will to master it as fast as he could.  
The evening feast was nearing its end when professor Dumbledore stood up from the teacher's table and demanded silence. After a few seconds, as the students grew quiet an turned their attention to him, he cleared his throat.  
“Good evening, dear students! I hope that you've eaten well, and are ending your day with your bellies as full as your minds. Before you go back to your dormitories, however, I have a very special announcement to make. The staff and I have decided this year to organise an event that hasn't happened for a little while – two years, if my memory is correct. Yes, as some of you have already guessed, a ball will be held. This Winter Ball will happen on the last friday of November, and, of course, you may all bring a date.” he said, ending with a wink.  
The Hall exploded in excited chatter, the uproar was so loud James could barely hear Rowan speak to him.  
“What, Ro'? I didn't hear a thing!” he yelled at him.  
“I said, that's so cool, I need to speak to Ben!” Rowan repeated, beaming.  
“It's more than cool, it's fantastic! Finally something interesting!” Tonks said, laughing.  
James didn't answer. He was thoroughly bewildered, the announcement had taken him completely by surprise. He was not usually the dancing type, but remembered fondly the Celestial Ball that was held during his fourth year. There had been a lot of good moments, from helping Penny with decorating the Great Hall to actually dancing and spending time with all his friends on the dancefloor. The happiest memory was Penny being his date, although obviously it had been very chaste, they were only fourteen after all – they didn't really follow up after the ball. He wondered briefly if this time he would be lucky enough to go with Penny again. Glancing across the table he saw her speaking excitedly with Tulip and Charlie. He vaguely tried to meet her eyes, but to no avail, she was literally looking at everything but him. He sighed slightly, he was probably hoping too much.

As they prepared to go to sleep, his dormitory mates could talk about nothing else but the upcoming ball. After Rowan told him about it, Ben had without surprise immediately accepted to go with him. Charlie had asked Tulip out right after the headmaster's speech and she had obviously been happy about it. James had always thought they were meant to be together. Charlie was notoriously passionate about dragons and Tulip, being so gifted in setting things on fire and making them explode, was basically a dragon in human form.  
“And you, James? Who are you inviting to the ball?” Charlie asked.  
“I...uh...haven't really thought about it.” he answered, trying to avoid talking about it.  
Rowan laughed out loud, “Yeaaah, sure mate. Nobody noticed you gawking at a certain pretty blonde prefect during the feast.”  
“I didn't!” said James, suddenly blushing.  
“Well...even I noticed” Charlie retorted, laughing too.  
James closed his curtains. He _did_ want to go with Penny, he had no doubt about that. The problem was, he wasn't sure the reverse was true, and he didn't want to make things weird between them. He treasured the time spent with Penny too much.


	5. Chapter 5

“Ugh...dammit” James muttered.  
It was a gloomy Wednesday morning and he was standing in the Room of Requirement, his wand pointed at a training dummy. He had been trying for two hours to cast a simple Flipendo non-verbally – to no avail. Nothing had happened. His head was aching from the extreme and uninterrupted concentration. He clenched his fists and looked at the mechanical dummy's figure, modeled in the shape of a masked death eater – a former follower of Voldemort. He could almost imagine it smile at him, mocking his repeated failures.  
“ _Flipendo_!” he shouted in frustration.  
The dummy was violently pushed back a few feet, crashing into the mirrored wall with a loud cracking sound. _Great_ , he thought, _at least I'm not becoming a squib_. He focused again and waved his wand at the wall. The mirror's fresh cracks slowly disappeared, leaving a smooth surface. He had been training every morning, ever since his talk with Tonks a week and a half ago. She had been right, some spells were way easier than others. He had managed to silently cast _Reparo_ the very first day and, in his pride, had wrongfully thought he would master all non-verbal spells just as easily. Needless to say, he had been very wrong. Every morning after that, he had spent at least an hour in the Room – even more if it was a work-out day for him – and had made absolutely no progress on casting the knockback jinx.  
It didn't help that his mind was preoccupied with something else: ever since the Winter Ball's announcement, Penny seemed to be avoiding him. At first he wasn't really worried and even found her excuses – she had prefect duties, and surely lots of work to do. It was true, students were going crazy ever since the ball's announcement. The hospital wing was almost full, with numerous cases of incorrectly-brewed-love-potion intoxication, and many charmed students. The teachers were not giving them rest either, even with the ball approaching – he had gotten complicated assignments from almost every class and had to spend all his evenings in the library with Rowan, their heads in piles of books until they were too sleepy to even read or write a single word. So he could only imagine Penny's hands were full too.  
However, as days had passed, he had started to notice that even during the classes they had in common, she seemed more distant. So finally, the day before, at the end of a Herbology lesson where she didn't utter a single word, he had asked her if something was wrong. “ _What? Wrong? Never, everything is perfect!_ ” she had said with a strange smile before literally fleeing the scene. Something was definitely wrong.  
But James had thought about it and couldn't even begin to understand what could have happened. The most logical explanation he could come up with was that Penny somehow knew he wanted to ask her to the ball, but didn't want to go with him and was afraid to tell him. He would have been fine, he thought. He could deal with the rejection and even somewhat expected it. But now he simply missed her. He vaguely thought he ought to try talking to her more seriously next time but didn't even know what to say.  
Exhaling sadly, he turned his eyes to the dummy against the wall and pointed his wand at it. He concentrated and flicked his wand one last time. Nothing. The wooden dummy's expressionless mask was taunting him. James squinted his eyes. "I'll get you next time.” he grumbled aloud.

Rowan was waiting for him in front of the Charms classroom. “Hey, James! How did it go today?” he asked, grinning.  
“Same.” James winced.  
“Oh... Well I'm sure you'll manage at one point, don't worry!” Rowan answered, patting him on the shoulder. As they entered the classroom, he added, “By the way, Penny was looking for you this morning, mate. I told her you were training, she seemed anxious to talk to you.”  
James almost dropped his book in surprise. “What – really? Why? What did she want?” he blurted out quickly, his eyes wide.  
Rowan laughed, “You're a mess! I don't know what she wanted, you'll have to ask her yourself.”  
James didn't answer, his mind already racing, thinking about all the possibilities, all the reasons she would suddenly want to talk to him again.  
“Maybe it's about the ball...” Rowan whispered, wiggling his eyebrows while sitting down.  
“Oh shut up, Rowan.”  
He had started confiding to Rowan days ago about his suspicions of Penny avoiding him. Rowan wasn't really sharing his fears, on the contrary – to him they were just acting dumb; they were both so obviously wanting to go with each other to the ball it was staggeringly incomprehensible how they had not already talked about it. But James simply couldn't understand how Penny _not_ talking to him could mean she wanted to go to the ball with him, and when he added “And why would Penny want to go with me anyway? I mean, she has dozens of friends in Hogwarts, and most boys want to date her since our first year. There's no way she'd choose me”, Rowan had just rolled his eyes, looking completely exasperated.  
James realised he wasn't really following the lesson at all when he heard professor Flitwick ask "Mr. Hawklett, are you listening? Can you tell me what the uses of the Drought Charm are?”  
“Uh...well I guess it's used to dry up things?” he answered uncertainly.  
“You'll see me after class, Mr. Hawklett.” said Flitwick, shaking his head.  
James sighed. Perhaps he would get a detention on the day of the ball, then all would be settled. He could go tell Penny; then she'd be free to go with whomever she wanted, without the risk of hurting him. He felt a twinge of unease in his guts. Was that jealousy? _Merlin's beard_ , he thought, _focus on the lesson!_  
He tried his best to listen closely for the rest of the class – and felt an equal amount of relief and frustration to learn that the Drought Charm was indeed used to dry up puddles.  
As the class ended, James waited until every student was out. Rowan was the last to go, wishing him good luck. He approached professor Flitwick's desk, and waited politely for the teacher to finish writing up something.  
“Ah, Mr. Hawklett.” the professor finally said.  
“Yes, Professor?” he asked apprehensively.  
“I have been wishing to talk to you for a while. You see, while your results in Charms are not worrisome at all, I noticed your attention in my class has been wavering, for weeks now. The headmaster has informed me of your...ongoing issues, but even so, I must say I expect more from you during those lessons, as they prepare you for your N.E.W.T.s – and therefore your entire future.”  
“I'm sorry, Professor, I'll do my best. I understand.” James said sheepishly.  
“I know you do. You may go, then, that will be all.” said Flitwick, softening his gaze.  
“Thank you, Professor.”  
As James walked away, an idea suddenly came to his mind and he returned to professor Flitwick's desk. “Professor? If it doesn't bother you, I was also in need of advice.”  
“Oh! Well, what could I advise you on, Mr. Hawklett?”  
“I have been trying to cast non-verbal spells for a while, and can't seem to get the hang of it. Some spells weren't an issue, like _Reparo_ , and some others simply won't work.”  
“Non-verbals spells are not scheduled until January” said Flitwick, frowning slightly.  
“I know, I was just testing...you know, in my free time.” James answered quickly.  
“Well then...I can't disapprove of students getting ahead in their studies.” he chuckled. “First, Mr. Hawklett, you need to know that non-verbal spells are tricky. Some wizards naturally perform non-verbal magic without difficulty, others need years of training. There are even a number of accomplished wizards who never mastered silent spells. Adding to that, the type of wood composing the caster's wand also plays a significant role.”  
James stayed silent. The teacher looked at James thoughtfully for a while before continuing. “You managing to cast even the mending charm nonverbally without prior teaching in class is more impressive than you would think. _Reparo_ is not easier to cast – but it is true, its results are usually more obvious to visualise. Visualise the results, Mr. Hawklett. Know what you want to achieve and focus on it. That will be my advice to you.” he said, his eyes twinkling.  
“Thank you again, Professor.” answered James before leaving.

He had hoped to catch Penny during the dinner feast but had been unlucky – she hadn't showed up at all. He ate his food in silence, not following any of his friends' ongoing conversations, lost in his thoughts. He had asked Tonks earlier if she knew where Penny was, but she had no clue either. Why was the castle so big?  
Their afternoon was free, as every Wednesday afternoon was, and although at first he was reluctant, Rowan managed to convince James to clear his head by going with him to – again – exercise casting a non-verbal _Flipendo_. At least this time he would have company – and maybe, as Rowan said, two heads were really better than one to figure it out.  
Instead of the Room of Requirement, they headed towards the Training grounds. The air was exceptionally warm for a November afternoon, it was probably the last sunny day of the year and they didn't want to miss it by locking themselves up for the rest of the day. They were surprised at first to find the Training grounds empty of students, but as they approached it, they heard the loud and cheerful commotion coming from the Quidditch pitch. That explained the unusual quiet in every other part of the castle.  
Rowan had actually brought with him a small book from the library dealing with non-verbal spells. He spent an equal amount of time perusing the book and trying to cast something on the dummies. James was ashamed to feel relief seeing someone else struggling with non-verbals. He felt less lonely.  
After an hour, they were both scowling at the immobile mannequins like they were their sworn enemies. “I didn't realise it would be this difficult. It's giving me a headache.” Rowan complained, rubbing his temples.  
“And I've been going at it for more than a week.” muttered James, shaking his head.  
“Maybe our approach is wrong...” Rowan shrugged, diving back into his book.  
“Well, Flitwick said some people never manage to use non-verbals. And also, wand wood matters.”  
Rowan raised his eyes from his book. “Really? I mean – of course. Wand wood always matters.” he smiled. He flipped the book's pages for a few moments before finding what he was looking for. “A-ha! Wand wood. Ugh...there's nothing about rowan wood wands.” he said, looking annoyed.  
He glanced at James' wand in his hand before adding with a smug face “But willow is supposedly really great for non-verbal magic. So it's not your wand, it's just you!”  
“Thanks, Rowan, I feel loads better now.” James sighed.

They were going to try again for another hour when they were interrupted by a loud yell coming from the castle's entrance.  
“HAWKLETT!”  
Rowan and him turned to see a long-haired Hufflepuff boy walking towards them. James vaguely recognised him, they were in the same year – it was...Diego something. They had never really talked.  
“Hey, Caplan, what's up?” Rowan said.  
“I'm not here for you, Khanna. We need to talk, Hawklett.” he said, scowling.  
“Well...I'm here. What's wrong?” said James, startled.  
“What's wrong?" he scoffed, "You! _You_ are what's wrong.” he answered angrily.  
“Wha – “ James started, but Diego continued, interrupting him. “You and your cursed family! Threatening the school for almost a decade with your wretched games. You should have been expelled years ago! You should never have been admitted to Hogwarts!”  
“Whoa there! What the h – “ Rowan started with an angry look on his face, but Diego interrupted again. “And that was not enough for you, right? Now you decide to corrupt the beautiful ray of sunshine that is Penny Haywood? I say, no more!” he said, drawing his wand.  
James suddenly remembered Diego to be the boy that had yelled “Cursed!” in History of Magic class weeks ago, when he had fallen to the floor after his dream. But something else was troubling him. “What do you mean, what happened to Penny?” he said, alarmed.  
“You know very well what happened to Penny! She is always sad, no matter how I try to cheer her up. And...I asked her to the ball and she...refused? This...this is all your fault, you ruined everything!”  
James looked at him and couldn't help himself, he laughed out loud. There was nothing funny, and he knew it would only anger Diego even more, but the whole situation was so ridiculous. He suddenly stopped and rolled to the floor instinctively as he heard Diego yell something – just in time. A white streak of light passed right above his head.  
“ _Protego_! Merlin's pants, Caplan, what the hell?” yelled Rowan.  
A silver wall erupted between Diego and them. James rose up and looked straight in Diego's eyes, noticing they were slightly reddened. “Caplan, I don't know what you want but I've done nothing to Penny. If I have wronged her, I will talk to her and apologize. Let's just...relax, calm yourself a bit.” he said carefully.  
“I won't – I've been watching you two. I know she takes you to Snape's lab with her. You're too close.”  
“That's it then? You're jealous? And how... how do you even know that?” James asked, feeling his anger starting to rise.  
“I'm a Hufflepuff, I'm good at finding things out.” Diego answered, squinting his eyes.  
Rowan's shield evaporated and James readied his wand, exhaling deeply to try to calm himself and slow the adrenaline rising in his body. “I understand you're upset, Diego. But please, think about this. Duels aren't even allowed.” he tried again, almost pleadingly.  
“We will duel for her... Khanna, stand aside. This will be over soon. I'm the best duellist at Hogwarts.” he said, looking straight in James' eyes.  
“I haven't even heard of you, Caplan.” James retorted.  
“ _Flipendo!_ ” Diego yelled.  
“ _Immobulus_!” James said at the same time.  
The blue jet of light from Diego collided with James' violet spell, canceling each other mid-way. They both started walking in a circle carefully, not taking their eyes off each other, trying to anticipate their next move.  
As Diego yelled “ _Depulso_!”, James cast a disarming charm. Their spells again collided with each other, but instead of canceling out, were deviated from their trajectory. As James' Expelliarmus crashed into a training dummy with a dull sound, Diego's banishing charm hit Rowan straight in the chest and he fell back.  
“Ow!” he said, coughing a bit before standing back up.  
James' heart skipped a beat, and he saw red. It was one thing to threaten him and provoke him in a duel – he had been used to it with Merula back in the day. But hurting his friend? That was crossing a line. He looked back at Diego who was sneering, and executed almost mechanically what he had been repeating for days. Flicking his wand, he focused on pushing Diego back. The Hufflepuff boy's eyes widened in surprise when the jinx hit him and threw him forcefully against one of the training dummies. Turning back to Rowan, James asked, concerned “You alright, Ro'? I'm so sorry you got hit.”  
“I'm fine – was surprised, that's all. Was that a non-verbal knockback jinx?” he said, raising his eyebrows.  
“I think so. Finally.” James answered, smiling.  
He turned back towards Diego, readying his wand, but his opponent was still on the floor near the dummies. Muttering a curse, James ran to him. Diego was still breathing, but his nose was bleeding and he seemed knocked out cold. “Brilliant. We need to bring him to the infirmary now.” James said, shaking his head.

Rowan helped him and they both carried Diego as fast as they could. Madam Pomfrey took him in without even asking questions, and after a few minutes she came back to them with good news: it was just a slight concussion, and he would be back on his feet in less than an hour. James breathed in relief. He felt shame for getting so carried away, he should have been more careful.  
Rowan suddenly poked him in the side, and James turned to him, frowning. “What the – “  
He interrupted himself. Rowan was pointing at Penny, who was looking at them hesitantly a few feet away.  
“'Hey, Pen'! See you guys!” Rowan said before running away.  
James looked at Penny with wide eyes. She approached him and said with a worried look “Are you alright? Did something happen?”  
“Uh...yeah, sort of. Fancy a walk while I tell you?” he asked tentatively.  
She nodded, and they headed towards the Black Lake as James explained everything.  
“ – so we basically dueled, and I...well...kinda hurt him more than I had planned, so Rowan helped me take him to the infirmary. It's okay, though, Madam Pomfrey said it was just a slight concussion, he'll be alright.”  
Penny stayed silent for a few minutes before sighing. “I'm so sorry.” she said miserably.  
“What? Why are you sorry?” asked James, completely dismayed.  
“Well... you said it yourself, it was because of me that Diego attacked you.”  
“No, it wasn't your fault at all, Penny. If anything, I should be the one to apologise to you. Diego said you were sad because of me – I don't know what I did wrong, but I should have seen or done something. I should have talked to you sooner, I knew something was up. I've been stupid.”  
“You can never make me sad, James. Diego was not thinking clearly, he has been...ugh...he took it very badly that I rejected him as a date for the ball. I feared he would do something reckless, I asked Tonks to keep an eye on him, but today was Quidditch day, so...” She smiled at him sadly. They had arrived at the lake, and they both sat down under a small tree. Penny was quiet again for a moment and they both gazed at the water in silence. "I'm also sorry for how I have been these past days. I can't believe I've been acting so dumb, you must have been so confused...” she said to him, looking down.  
“Well...to be honest, I was confused indeed. What happened?” James said.  
Penny sighed. James' heart was beating fast in anticipation of an explanation, after days of not understanding what was going on. He held his breath waiting for her answer.  
“I... I know it sounds silly, but...it was because of the Winter Ball. I was hoping to go with you, you see, but since you didn't ask me that night, I thought you were not interested or had someone else in mind. I couldn't bring myself to ask you, I didn't have the courage. So I avoided you as best I could, trying to forget it.” James looked at her in silence, his mouth slightly open, completely bewildered. After a moment of silence, she continued, “It didn't work, mind you, the more I kept trying to forget it, the more I thought about it. The anxiety was becoming unbearable, and I could see your confusion too. So I knew I had to talk to you. The ball doesn't matter, I just don't want to avoid you again...I miss you, James.” she finished almost in a whisper.  
“You mean...you...wanted to go to the ball with me?” he asked, his eyes wide.  
“Well...yeah...but now I ruined it, didn't I?” Penny said, her face red and still looking down.  
James grinned, and almost burst out laughing again. What was wrong with him today, wanting to laugh at the worst moments? He breathed deeply to calm himself. “Listen, Penny...the only reason I didn't ask you to be my date right away is that I was too nervous, afraid you'd say no. You're the first – and only – person I thought about, for the ball. I should have been braver, I'm sorry. Everything is my fault.” James shook his head.  
Now it was Penny's turn to look at him with wide eyes. “You mean... Are you... – “ she stammered.  
“Well...I know it's a little late, but... Will you be my date for the Winter Ball, Penny?” James asked.  
“Oh, absolutely!” she said, smiling.  
She jumped in James' arms and hugged him tightly, and he instantly felt the heat rise in his cheeks and the butterflies in his stomach.  
“Thank you.” she whispered to him.  
“No – thank you, Penny.” he said seriously. "And to think that my best guess about why you were so distant was you wanted to go with someone else and didn't want to hurt me...” he added, laughing.  
She raised her eyes at him and smiled sheepishly. “I wouldn't even have gone to the ball if it wasn't with you, James.”  



	6. Chapter 6

During the next few days was by far the best James had felt in a long time. The prospect of going to the ball with Penny made him feel like he was walking on air, and he got quite a few exasperated looks from Rowan when he was, as his friend put it, “grinning like a lovestruck idiot”. But he couldn't help it, his mood had never been better, his brother and the vaults had been driven completely out of his mind, replaced by Penny and the upcoming Winter ball.  
Being able to hang out with the blonde potioneer again lifted a heavy burden from James. They spent as much time together as their busy schedules allowed, studying and eating together almost every day. It was still less than earlier in the year, but Penny's prefect duties really ate through her free time.  
One time during dinner, she recounted to them how, in just two days, she had discovered and confiscated two crates of smuggled-in love potions, broken up three different fights between boys trying to win the heart of the _same_ girl, and comforted two broken-hearted Hufflepuff kids. While James was at first flabbergasted at how many students were acting over-recklessly concerning the ball, he remembered he himself had been involved in a duel – however against his will – about the same matter. He had not spoken to Diego Caplan ever since, and the latter didn't seem eager to talk to him either; but Penny told him she had spoken with Diego and he wouldn't bother him ever again, and James was happy to forget everything about this event – it didn't matter anymore: he was going to the ball with Penny Haywood.

Three days before the ball, however, another sentiment started to creep into James' heart: anxiety. He was beginning to realise he was absolutely not ready for the ball. Filled with bliss, he had completely overlooked two major points: he had no idea how to dance, and he had no idea how to dress. Rowan tried to reassure him about the first part, saying probably none of Hogwarts' students really knew how to dance and Penny probably wouldn't mind – they would have fun anyway, just like during the Celestial Ball two years ago. James wasn't entirely convinced, and it didn't solve his wardrobe issue either, on which even his best friend had no comforting words except “ _Yup. You really messed up about that_ ”.  
Rowan did suggest him to ask Andre Egwu, a very stylish Ravenclaw student in the same year as him. Andre had helped James in the past, entirely designing new outfits when he needed one on special occasions – the Celestial ball, for example, had been one of them. His fashion taste, designing skills and craftsmanship were incredible, and James had always been delighted by the results. However, they hadn't really talked in a while: Andre was not among his closest friends; he had never shown interest in taking part in any of his vault related activities, which was James' main concern for the past years. Thus, he felt it would be very rude to get back in touch only because he needed him for the ball. He had to find another solution.  
Fate seemed to decide otherwise, however, because on Thursday evening after his last lesson, he had the surprise of finding Andre waiting for him right outside the classroom. “My favourite curse-breaker!” he exclaimed.  
“Andre?” said James, astonished.  
“Yup, that's me! Long time no see!” he said, smiling. Hearing Andre mention it somehow made James feel even more contrite.  
“Yeah... I'm sorry, Andre. So many things happened lately, I didn't quite find the time to catch up.” he answered, trying to justify himself.  
Andre chuckled. “Oh don't sweat it!” he answered, waving his hand dismissively. Seeing James' unconvinced look, he added, smirking “– It's alright, I get it, I've been quite busy myself! Soooo, word around school is, _you're_ the lucky one going to the ball with Penny Haywood!”  
James grinned despite himself. “Yeah, it's true. I'm so thrilled about it!” he answered. Even now, days after she had accepted, he still had a hard time believing he was lucky enough to go to the ball with her.  
His friend laughed heartily. “Tell that to all the boys and girls who asked her before you.” he said, before suddenly taking a serious tone. “Anyway, have you decided what you're going to wear to the ball?”  
“Uh...well, about that...actually, no.” James answered, looking at the floor. But he sensed Andre's smile broadening and glared at him quizzically. His Ravenclaw friend looked relieved, almost impatient for something.  
“I knew it! You still need me, don't you?” asked the Ravenclaw boy with an eager voice.  
James raised his eyebrows, surprised. “I...well, I mean – yeah. But only if you don't mind.” he answered sheepishly.  
“Of course I don't! Come with me!”  
Andre led him straight to an empty classroom on the fifth floor without uttering a word. James started to raise his hand to the door handle but Andre stopped him, looking alarmed. “Nooope! Not yet!” he exclaimed. He took out a measuring tape and a piece of parchment and quickly started circling around him, writing numbers down with a furrowed brow. “Last minute measurements. Alright, stay here, I'll call you.”  
He pocketed the tape and slipped into the room briskly, closing the door behind him. James waited, curious and uneasy, squirming on his feet, not knowing what to expect. About five minutes later, Andre opened the door and motioned him to enter. The room was dark, but he immediately spotted the mannequin standing in the back of the room, covered with a large piece of cloth.  
“Wait – is it already..? How were you so fast?” James said with a frown.  
“I had already designed and prepared the outfit, just in case.” answered Andre, grinning.  
James shook his head at his friend, completely bewildered and unable to answer.  
Andre shrugged. “Come! I'll show you.”  
They approached the mannequin and Andre quickly removed the covering cloth, unveiling the outfit underneath and causing James' eyes to widen as he stood there agape for a few seconds. It was magnificent. The dress robes were midnight blue, cut in a shape that vaguely resembled Hogwarts' school robes but in a more refined, elegant style. Fine, subtle silver lines along the edges of the sleeves and the collar drew geometrical forms that reminded James of ice crystals. Even more impressive was how the dress' fabric caught the light, creating small, gleaming dots that danced around the robes, mimicking falling snow.  
“You...you outdid yourself, Andre.” he said, still looking at the mannequin, unable to tear his eyes off it.  
Andre chuckled. “I know, right?” he answered, his voice full of pride.  
James turned to him, suddenly embarrassed, and shook his head. “But I shouldn't... How can I – ” he started, trying to find his words. His shoulders slumped. This was way too much, he didn't deserve this from a friend he had neglected.  
Andre interrupted him. “Nonsense! If you didn't encourage me all those years ago, I would never have had enough confidence in myself to even design a single pair of socks, James. I should be the one grateful to you.”  
James gaped at him bashfully, again not knowing what to answer.  
“ - plus, how could I ever let Penny Haywood, the school's prettiest and most popular girl, dance at the ball with a date dressed anything less than perfectly? People would talk!” Andre added in a playful tone.  
This made James laugh, and he shook his head again. “Thank you, Andre. Really. You're saving my life.”  
Andre beamed at him. “Don't mention it.”

The night of the ball finally came, and as James was getting himself ready in his dormitory, he felt the nervousness creep inside his mind again, making his palms sweaty and his heart beat fast. He couldn't help but doubt and second-guess everything – from his hair to the robes he found so amazing just days ago. What if Penny didn't like them? Did she expect something else? Maybe he should have asked her opinion before... He didn't even realise he was blanking out until he heard someone snap his fingers right besides him.  
“Merlin's pants, James! You're really nervous, aren't you?” said Rowan with raised eyebrows.  
James breathed deeply, trying to shake away his anxiety. “Yeah, sorry – what were you saying?”  
“Just that the outfit Andre made looks amazing on you. Penny will be so pleased.” he repeated. Eyeing James thoughtfully for a few seconds, he added “ – Yeah, you're quite a catch, actually. You'll probably be one of Hogwarts' best-looking wizards tonight.”  
“Hey! What about me?” Ben complained, approaching from behind them.  
Rowan smirked. “You're obviously perfect, Ben.” he said, sneaking a quick kiss on his cheek. Ben seemed satisfied, and Rowan added “ – But even _you_ have to admit...”, earning him a fake-outraged look from his boyfriend.  
James burst out laughing. He felt happy to see them so at ease with each other. Obviously they weren't anxious about the ball. Why would they be – they were already together. He turned his eye to Charlie, who was sitting on his bed looking livid, and was surprised to see him so nervous. Tulip and him had been so close for years, he had no reason to. Frowning, he asked, “Are you alright, Charlie?”  
“I... Maybe. I don't know. I was thinking about asking Tulip out – on a real date I mean. After the ball.” he revealed, looking almost sick.  
James grinned, and Rowan chimed in. “That's a fantastic idea! Finally! With all the time you spend glued to one another, I was wondering when you'd move to the next level.”  
Charlie seemed to force himself to smile. “We'll see, I guess. We should go.”

As they descended the stairs and arrived in front of the Entrance Hall, they noticed the increasingly loud chattering noise from the students gathered there. Some students were already meeting their partners and entering the Great Hall, while others were waiting for them with nervous expressions on their faces. James frowned when he saw an ever-bashing boomerang flying past them. He hoped Penny wouldn't be too busy chasing mischievous students all night. He tried to spot his date in the crowd, but she didn't seem to be there yet. He saw Tulip, however, talking to a Ravenclaw boy he didn't know. Charlie spotted her too. “Alright, have to go guys – date's waiting.” he said, his cheeks a little pink.  
Rowan and Ben stayed with James, and they chatted for a few minutes as he tried to ignore his thumping chest. He suddenly felt someone pat him on the shoulder and turned. Penny was standing right beside him. Her bright blue eyes met his and she flashed a dazzling smile at him costing hsi heart a few beats. Merlin's beard, why was she so pretty?  
“Hi guys! You look amazing, James!” she said enthusiastically.  
He gawked at her, feeling the now usual butterflies in his stomach. She had styled her golden hair in a single, long flowing braid that fell in front of her shoulder, and wore a blue sleeveless dress, a few shades lighter than his, with small glimmering snowflakes at the bottom. He wouldn't know if he really looked amazing, but she certainly was resplendent.  
“You...ah – you're perfect, Penny.” answered James, his eyes still lingering on her. Penny's cheeks took a rosy tint and she smiled.  
Rowan laughed. “You look so good together! Even your dress robes are matching – You're the perfect couple tonight.”  
James immediately felt himself blush and shot a murderous look at Rowan who was smirking, as Ben shrugged apologetically beside him. To his surprise, Penny simply grinned and retorted “Of course we are. Now should we go inside and see how they decorated the Hall?”  
She took James' hand, intertwining her soft fingers with his; the unexpected contact spread warmth inside his body. As the four of them walked through the Great Hall's entrance, James noticed the silent stares – a lot of students were looking at Penny with the same awestruck expression he must have had earlier.  
The Great Hall was unrecognizable. The four long House tables had disappeared, replaced by smaller, round glass tables that seemed to be able to seat six or seven people. The enchanted ceiling showed a snowy night sky, with thousands of bright stars high above. The floating candles had also disappeared, in their place were what James could only describe as hovering orbs of light, in various tones of blue, dimmer than the usual candles and giving the atmosphere a magical feeling.  
They looked around wondering where they could sit, and saw Tonks waving at them from a table. She was alone with Chiara Lobosca, another Hufflepuff student with whom James had talked a few times. Chiara had a secret only a select few people knew about – she was a werewolf. As a result, she usually kept her distance with most other students, and didn't attend social gatherings like the ball – so James was mildly surprised to see her. But then again, it wasn't a full-moon night, and he was glad that she allowed herself to have some fun.  
Tonks grinned as they approached. “Wotcher! You guys look stunning!”  
Rowan frowned looking at the two Hufflepuff girls. “Are you two...” he started to ask.  
Tonks chuckled. “Nope – I mean yes, we're at the ball together, but only as friends.”  
“I didn't really want to come, but Tonks and Penny convinced me to try having some fun.” Chiara said in her small voice, smiling timidly.  
“Not regretting it, I hope?” James asked.  
She glanced at Tonks who wiggled her eyebrows playfully, and shrugged. “Well, not yet.”  
When most students were seated inside the Great Hall, the music started and soon enough, the dancefloor was filled with dancing teenagers. James looked at them with apprehension, hesitating to join in, until Penny took his hand again. "Let's go have some fun!" she said, grinning.  
It was awkward at first, but soon enough, he felt his anxiety evaporate as he started to move in rhythm with Penny. Rowan had been right, he didn't need to worry. Dancing was easy, almost natural when he was with her. He began to lose his sense of time – had it been minutes? Hours? Nothing seemed to matter anymore, there was no one else, only Penny and him waltzing together, his hands on her hips and her arms around his neck. They had never been so close. He could count every eyelash, distinguish every shade of blue in her ravishing eyes. Penny leaned even closer, her cheeks pink. Her rosy lips were exerting a pull on James' mind like a magnet, and for a fleeting moment he wondered if they were as soft as they looked like. Before he managed to muster the courage to find out, however, Penny's eyes widened, looking behind him. “What the – “ she started in a bewildered voice.  
James turned around to see what was causing her reaction and his mouth opened in surprise. Back at their table, Tonks was straddled on Chiara, kissing her voraciously. Nobody else was really paying attention to that scene, they weren't even the only ones kissing – but the sight of their two friends doing it was completely unexpected. He turned back to Penny, who was looking just as surprised as him, and smiled.  
“I'm pretty sure Chiara's having fun now.” he said, smirking.  
Penny laughed and shook her head. “I can't believe - I certainly didn't expect that outcome when I encouraged her to try the ball.” she said, looking back at him.  
Her arms were still around his neck and they resumed their dancing, but James felt increasingly self-conscious. The feeling of blissful obliviousness had faded away and he looked around, realising that quite a few people were simply staring at them, some longingly, others somehow looking sullen. Turning his head to the teacher's table, he was startled to see that most of them had vanished. What time was it? It was certainly not early, he was starting to feel weary and about half the students already seemed to have gone back to their common rooms.  
Penny seemed to notice and understand. “Are you tired, James? It's pretty late.” she said in a soft voice.  
Reluctantly, James nodded and she smiled, taking his hand immediately and leading him outside the Great Hall. They headed together towards the castle's basement, where the Hufflepuff common room was located. In the empty corridor, James could still hear the music in the distance and almost wanted to go back; he didn't want this night to end. As they arrived in front of the entrance, Penny turned towards him and took his other hand.  
“Thank you for tonight, James. It was amazing.” she said, looking at him, her bright blue eyes sparkling in the dungeons' dim light.  
He smiled, feeling heat rise in his cheek. “I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had a really good time too, Penny.” he said, feeling her press his hands gently. In a sudden burst of bravery, remembering Charlie's planned endeavour, he blurted out “Are you busy tomorrow? I mean – if you're not...then – only if you want, maybe we could hang out together? Like...on a...date or something.”  
Penny's smile broadened. “Oh, I'd love to! I didn't dare to ask.” she said with sparkling eyes.  
“Great! That's...great!" he said, exhaling. "Let's say tomorrow after lunch, if that's alright?” he asked, feeling relieved.  
“That's perfect. I'm so excited!” she giggled delightedly. Raising her eyes to meet his, she added “Thank you.” and, leaning towards him, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered “Good night, James”.  
Rowan and Ben were already sleeping when he entered the dormitory. Lying down on his bed, James thought for a moment that this night had probably been the best in all his life. He quickly fell asleep, the feeling of Penny's kiss still lingering on his cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

James woke up in a foul mood. He had dreamt about his brother – he didn't exactly remember what was happening but it was upsetting enough to leave behind a lingering dreadful feeling in his mind. Sighing, he got up and looked outside the window. Judging by the luminosity, it was still very early in the morning. He could see the wind blowing through the trees of the Forbidden Forest, and was pretty sure, from their color, that frost was beginning to form. The Winter Ball seemed to have brought forth the winter season. Thinking about the ball and the previous night, he remembered he had a date with Penny later in the day, and felt his mood improve considerably at that perspective. He laid back on his bed and closed his eyes, the image of Penny's delighted smile when he had asked her out filling his mind with happiness. He tried to find sleep again but couldn't – Ben's snoring and his excitement for the date had fully awoken him; so instead, he decided to have a training session in the Room of Requirement before breakfast.  
His hour of training went better than he had expected: he had actually been neglecting it for a few days – ever since Penny had accepted to go to the ball with him, he hadn't been able to think about anything else, let alone muster up the motivation to work out. He was relieved to see he was in a physical form as good as ever, and still able to cast non-verbal Flipendos, though with varying results – there was still room for improvement. He had also tried other spells, with the same mitigated outcome. It was still loads better than just a week before, and enough to satisfy him.

After his shower, he met Rowan, Ben, and Charlie and they descended together to the Great Hall for breakfast.  
“Oh Charlie – you didn't tell us, how'd it go with Tulip yesterday?” Rowan asked as he helped himself to some porridge.  
Charlie grinned. “Fine. Going on a date this afternoon, actually.” he answered, with a pleased smile on his face. “Madam Puddifoot's, in Hogsmeade.” he added when he saw Rowan starting to ask.  
James turned his head at him, alarmed. Hearing about Hogsmeade suddenly brought back to his mind unpleasant memories. “What? Wait – Hogsmeade? You...but...what about Rakepick?” he stuttered.  
“What about her?” Charlie said, shrugging. “We haven't heard anything about her in weeks, and Tulip told me the aurors' reports state that she's very obviously hiding there. Why would she risk attacking two random students hanging out?”  
“It's still unbelievably dangerous just for a date...” Ben said worriedly.  
Before Charlie could answer, Tonks appeared next to them and sat down. “Talking about your little date?” she said with a smirk. Seeing their surprised faces, she added “Tulip told me earlier this morning. And I'm coming with you guys – to Hogsmeade only, don't worry I won't meddle with you lovebirds. Just needed to grab some Stink Pellets at Zonko's.”  
“Neat! You see, James? No need to worry, we'll have our own future-Auror with us.” Charlie said, grinning.  
James sighed defeatedly and shrugged, knowing he could do nothing more to prevent them from going. But Tonks going with them did nothing to erase his worry, now there were three of his friends on this trip. He considered spending his date with Penny in Hogsmeade too so he could keep an eye on them, but knew this wouldn't work. He was pretty sure his presence would actually increase the chances of Rakepick turning up – and besides he certainly didn't want to risk putting Penny in danger.

Rowan and him decided to spend the rest of their morning studying in the library. But no matter how truly fascinating Golpalott's Third Law seemed, James simply didn't manage to focus on anything. There was too much going on, first his dream about his brother, now this – he couldn't shake away the ominous feeling that was beginning to settle inside him. He even wondered if he should postpone his date with Penny, as agonizing as that sounded in his mind.  
Rowan seemed to notice his distress. “Is it about the Hogsmeade thing again?” he asked in an understanding voice.  
James sighed and decided to confide in Rowan. “That, and... I had a dream about my brother last night – can't even remember what, but it was bad. And then there's my date with Penny this afternoon...”  
Rowan's eyes widened. “What? You didn't tell us you had a date too!” he exclaimed a little bit too loud, earning them a furious “ _Quiet_!” from Madam Pince.  
“Yeah, well...I'm wondering if I should cancel now.” James whispered.  
Rowan scowled and answered in a low voice “Oh no you won't. First of all, Charlie made a fair point, I honestly don't see why Rakepick would do anything to them now – and if she tried something, there are three of them, not counting all the adult wizards living in Hogsmeade plus the aurors tailing her.” He exhaled before continuing. “And secondly – really, James? Canceling your first date with Penny Haywood, the cute blonde friend you've been pining for since Merlin knows when? No – you should go, if anything it will take your mind off Charlie, Tulip, and Tonks, and before you know it they'll be back.”  
James sighed – he had no counter-argument, his friend seemed right. “Are you really okay with them going?” he tried as a last resort.  
Rowan scoffed playfully. “Can't do anything about it, can I? And honestly, we've all been in way more danger than this, so...”  
James winced and they stayed silent for a few minutes. He could feel his tension ease up gradually as his friend's reasoning was sinking in. Maybe he really had been freaking out for nothing. Rowan suddenly nudged him with his elbow. “So, tell me, mate – how did it happen? Who did the asking? And did you kiss? When Ben and I left, you were almost glued to each other.”  
“We were...ugh – no we didn't. And I asked her after the ball, that's all.” he answered, feeling his cheeks redden.  
“So are you two officially a thing, or...”  
“No! – It's...it's just a date.” James answered, suddenly feeling very hot.  
Rowan winked at him. “For now.”

He met Penny in front of her common room an hour after dinner. She was wearing casual warm clothes in which James wasn't used to see her. She looked absolutely gorgeous.  
“Hey, James!” she said, smiling brightly when she saw him. In an instant, all his worries seemed to have flown away.  
He grinned uncontrollably. “Hi, Penny! You look amazing.”  
“Thanks, you're not so bad yourself” she answered, winking. “So – what did you have in mind for our date?”  
He looked at her sheepishly. “Well... I didn't really have it planned out, to be honest. But perhaps uh...for now, we could go for a stroll outside?”  
“Sounds great!” she beamed.  
Despite Penny's obvious eagerness, James suddenly felt foolish for asking her on a date with no real plan. Hogsmeade was Hogwarts students' traditional dating location, with its various pubs and picturesque scenery; but it was currently off-limits for him. The truth was, just spending time with the blonde witch – wherever they were – would satisfy him enough to make any date perfect. But was it enough for her?  
His doubts suddenly vanished as his brain shut off: Penny had just taken his hand as they walked through the Entrance Hall, the soft contact filling him with a fuzzy warm feeling. He looked at her and she smiled. “I'm thinking, maybe we could go towards the Lake. There are quite a few nice spots where we could have some privacy.” she said thoughtfully.  
James nodded. “Yeah, good idea, I just hope it won't be too – “ A chilly gust of wind interrupted him as they stepped outside the castle. “ – cold. But it is.” he finished, frowning.  
“Oh, don't worry, I don't really mind.” she said softly, grabbing James' arm as they walked.  
He shook his head – this wouldn't do. “Just – wait a second.” he said. He wanted it to be as perfect as possible. Whipping out his wand, he muttered “ _Accio glass jar_ ”, thinking about the empty glass containers near the Herbology greenhouses. A few seconds later, as Penny looked at James quizzically, a jar hurtled towards them, stopping dead right in front of him. He grabbed it and summoned bluebell flames inside, causing the air around them to gradually warm up. Finally, a swish and flick of his wand made the jar hover in the air, right next to them. Penny's eyebrows were raised in surprise.  
“Uh...I know you said you didn't mind, sorry.” he said hastily. “I just thought – “  
She interrupted, grinning, “No, it's amazing, James, stop worrying.” She took his hand again, pressing it gently, and they walked towards the lake with the levitating flame-jar following behind them, its radiating aura warming them up. They chatted lightheartedly until they arrived near the Great Lake, and sat down on a large flat rock facing the water, still holding hands.  
“This is nice.” Penny said, smiling at James. “Reminds me of when I was younger. I used to wander around for hours in the countryside, near my parents' house.”  
“Weren't they worried about you?” James asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Oh, they'd scold me afterwards, but it was worth it.” she said, smiling mischievously.  
He chuckled. “I used to disappear from home too, after Jacob went missing. I'd take my broom and fly away – I stayed in York for three days before returning home, once. I don't think my parents even noticed.”  
Penny frowned. “That's pretty terrible.”  
“Is it? Sorry, I didn't mean to – anyway, are you maybe hungry or thirsty? I could summon a few butterbeers and snacks from Jae's stash, we have an agreement, he won't mind.” he said, trying to change the subject.  
“Oh – wait, so Jae Kim has a stock of illegal butterbeer?” Penny said, raising her eyebrow pointedly.  
“What butterbeer? Never heard of it.” he answered hastily, suddenly remembering Penny's prefect duties.  
Penny's eyes met his for a few seconds and they both burst out laughing. It felt so good to be with her, James thought, as Penny leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. This must be what heaven felt like.  
Hours passed like minutes as their conversation flowed, both oblivious to their surroundings inside the cosy bubble of warmth that the flames created around them. He probably could have stayed there forever, but he suddenly noticed Penny looking at the sun sadly. It was probably five o'clock in the afternoon.  
“Do you...maybe want to head back inside?” he asked Penny.  
“I don't want to...but it's probably more reasonable.” she said, looking disappointed.

They took their time walking back to the castle, their hands intertwined. As they entered the empty Entrance Hall, Penny stopped, took both his hands in hers and drew nearer, surprising him. “Our date was amazing, James, thank you.” she whispered softly.  
Her face was only centimeters away from his, and he felt his nape and cheeks grow hot as butterflies flew wildly in his stomach. His senses were overloading, with the feeling of Penny's soft hands in his, her strikingly beautiful eyes looking at him, and the fascinating smell of her perfume ensnaring his senses much more efficiently than any of Snapes' magical potions.  
“You – you made it amazing. I wished it would never end.” he muttered timidly, pressing her hands. “Listen – I was wondering if...” he interrupted himself, trying to find his words. He was thinking about asking her if she wanted to be his girlfriend, properly – they had gone to the ball and on a date together, but did that mean they were officially dating? Or was it too soon? And perhaps more importantly – how would she react? He looked in her wide blue eyes and had to resist the temptation to just kiss her then and there.  
“Yes?” she said, looking at him, her cheeks slightly pink.  
“I...really like you, Penny. So, I thought – “  
Before he could continue, however, a yell came from behind them.  
“JAMES!”  
He sighed in frustration and turned his head. Tulip was running down the stairs, looking panicked. His heart sank, as he suddenly remembered the whole Hogsmeade situation. Did something happen? Tulip's eyes were wide as she approached Penny and him.  
“James – we – Hogsmeade! – It's...Tonks – “ she said, panting heavily.  
“What happened?” Penny asked in a worried voice.  
Tulip tried to catch her breath before answering. “It's Tonks. Charlie and I were supposed to meet her at the Three Broomsticks after our date. We waited for an hour but she never came, so we thought maybe she had come back to Hogwarts early for whatever reason, but we asked, and nobody has seen her.”  
James looked at her with wide eyes. “Have you told Dumbledore?” he asked, feeling a knot in his stomach.  
“That's the problem! Dumbledore is not in his office – I couldn't even find a single professor, I've checked everywhere, I...I – “ she stopped, her whole body trembling. Her face was so pale James wondered if she was sick.  
“It's alright, Tulip, calm down. I'll go and find her. You stay here and...uh...maybe go to the infirmary? You've exhausted yourself, running everywhere.” he said.  
Tulip nodded, and Penny added “I'm coming with you.”  
“Yes, go with – “ James started. But Penny was looking at him. “ – me? No way, I can't risk that, you might get hurt, and – “ he started to protest.  
“And you might get hurt too, James, have you thought about that? You're certainly not going alone, I'm coming with you – just wait here, I'll be right back.” she said, running towards her common room.  
She was back a minute later, wearing a brown cloak, and her wand in her hand. At her waist she wore a fine leather belt, attached with various filled potion flasks; James thought he recognised some Wiggenweld – the others he wasn't sure.  
“Just in case.” she shrugged, noticing his glare.  
James smiled. “You're the best, Penny.” He was still very worried, but a part of him couldn't help but feel happy that she was coming along. He had always been able to count on her thoughtfulness, and her unexcelled skills in potions had saved him more than once.  
“How will we get to Hogsmeade?” Penny asked.  
He sighed. “I was thinking brooms, but maybe that's not the best idea – if there's really something bad happening, they'll see us coming a mile away. We should sneak in...”  
“There's that secret passage on the fourth floor – behind that large mirror. Charlie's brothers found it just weeks ago, they said it leads straight to the Three Broomsticks' backyard.” Tulip said with a weak voice.  
James nodded. “Great idea – thanks, Tulip. Take some rest now. And if you see Dumbledore or any other professor, please tell them to come quickly.”


	8. Chapter 8

Penny and James were on the fourth floor, speeding towards the mirrored corridor, when they ran into Ben, who looked startled to see them. “Where are you guys running to? What's happening?”  
“Tonks is missing – we're going to Hogsmeade to try and find her.” James answered impatiently as they continued walking.  
Ben followed them. “So she's _really_ missing? Charlie was searching for her earlier, but he told me it would be fine.” he said with a fearful voice.  
“Well...they didn't find her.”  
They stopped in front of the large antique mirror Tulip had mentioned, and James began inspecting it. He cursed himself, he had forgotten to ask her how to actually open the secret passage.  
“ _Revelio!_ ” he muttered, pointing his wand at it, unconvinced, but nothing happened.  
Penny approached the mirror. “ _Alohomora?_ ” she tried, with no more success than James.  
Ben began prodding and touching different parts of the mirror's frame, until they suddenly heard a click. The surface of the mirror vanished, revealing a gloomy staircase that descended into darkness.  
“How did you – “ James looked at him, bewildered.  
“That's how muggles conceal their secret passages. In movies.” he said, looking at the floor.  
Penny grinned. “That was brilliant, Ben.”  
But the Gryffindor boy didn't seem to listen, he was pacing back and forth, looking extremely worried. Before James could ask what was wrong, he said “I'm coming with you guys.”  
James frowned and shook his head. “No way, it might be dangerous.”  
“Yeah – and you're still going, both of you. Maybe I can be useful. Tonks is my friend too, you know.” Ben said, visibly scared but determined.  
James sighed - he didn't have time to argue about this, but Rowan was going to kill him if he found out. “Let's go, then.”  
He entered the passage first, with Penny close behind him and Ben following them. When all three were inside, the mirror immediately reappeared behind them and they had to cast Lumos to be able to see something. They descended the stairs for what seemed like forever. The steps were apparently unending and James was beginning to lose patience when they finally reached the end of it.  
“Finally.” he muttered, looking at their surroundings.  
Ben shuddered uneasily. “It's been almost five minutes. We must be so far below the castle.” he said with a nervous voice.

They found themselves inside a low, narrow tunnel made of stone bricks, that looked absolutely unsafe. Dust was regularly falling from the ceiling's large fissures, the entire tunnel looked on the verge of collapse. “Uh...we shouldn't linger here any longer than we have to.” James said, hastening his pace.  
He could hear Penny's shaky breath right behind him. Was she scared? He could certainly understand why, the whole situation was playing on his nerves too. This was definitely not the way he had expected his date with her to end. And to think that barely half an hour ago he was ready to confess to her... He shook his head, trying to clear his mind – this was definitely not the time to think about his relationship with Penny.  
About ten minutes later, the unstable tunnel opened into a vast empty room, with large spider webs in every corner and a floor that looked dustier than anything James had ever seen. Apart from the tunnel they had just came out of, the only other opening he could see in the room was on the other side. He shook his head in disbelief. Why was that room even there? Where were they? But there was no time for questions. The three of them hurried inside the other passageway – which seemed far more reliable than the previous one in James' opinion. The tunnel was indeed more stable, but way longer than he had expected. The irregular floor made them stumble now and then, and it took ages before the passage finally began to rise. They sped up, panting and sweating, and soon they were facing a wooden ladder that climbed up a circular stone hole. James figured they were inside a well – there was a small wooden roof above them and a broken wooden bucket on the floor, but more importantly – they could finally breathe in fresh air.  
He was the first to climb out. They were indeed, as Tulip had said, in the backyard of the Three Broomsticks, which was clearly an area he wouldn't have expected to visit one day. He helped Penny climb out and she shot him a thankful smile.

“So where do we start?” Penny whispered after the three of them gathered and crouched behind a pile of crates.  
“Should we separate to cover more ground?” Ben asked.  
Penny's eyes widened. “Certainly not, I thought you watched muggle movies? That never works!”  
“We stay together and move carefully. Tonks was visiting Zonko's so we should try there first, maybe we'll find a clue or something.” James said.  
They climbed over the fence surrounding the backyard, and walked slowly towards Zonko's with their wands out. The usually crowded streets of Hogsmeade were exceptionally quiet, they only crossed paths with a few elderly wizards that looked at them curiously – James tried asking them if they had seen “a Hogwarts student, their age, with short pink hair” but to no avail.  
The shop was already closed when they reached it. “Dammit.” James muttered. “I was hoping to ask Mr. Bilmes if he had noticed something strange.”  
Penny nodded, looking disappointedly at the small building. “We should still look around.” she whispered.  
There was an alley on the side of the joke shop that James had never really paid attention to. On their usual trips to Hogsmeade with his friends, they mostly only frequented the High Street, where all the interesting hangout spots were located – the Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes, Zonko's and the Hog's Head Inn were the usual places most Hogwarts students would spent their time in. The side alley was narrow, dark and almost empty – there were a few garbage cans and an opening that certainly led to the backyard of the Zonko's shop. As soon as James set foot inside the alley, he felt something was wrong. His instincts were screaming at him that they were in danger, but looking everywhere, he couldn't notice anything off.  
Raising his wand and glancing around a second time, he whispered “Be careful, guys, something is definitely – “ but interrupted himself as he caught a glimpse of something in the backyard that increased his heartrate tenfold. As he ran towards it, his first suspicions were confirmed: those really were feet that protruded from behind cardboard boxes. A body – and James could recognise these shoes and pants anywhere.

“Oh my god! Is she...” Ben said fearfully as Penny simply covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide.  
James approached Tonks' body, ignoring his fear, and crouched at her side, studying her for a moment. Relief flowed inside his mind as he realised she was breathing. “Don't worry, guys. _Rennervate_.” he said.  
The pink-haired witch opened her eyes wide and jumped on her feet almost immediately. “What – ouch!” she groaned, massaging her head. “Hurts.”  
Penny immediately approached Tonks and handed her one of the potions attached to her belt. Tonks gulped it down, her eyes closed, and sighed in relief.  
“Blimey, thanks Penny. I – ” she was interrupted by Penny pulling her in a tight hug.  
“Don't scare us like that ever again.” Penny said in a shaky voice.  
Tonks scratched the back of her neck. “Sorry for that. But...what happened?”  
“Well, that's what we were going to ask you, Tonks.” James answered, frowning. “You disappeared for hours.”  
Tonks shot a glance at the almost-dark sky and her mouth opened slightly. “What the – How? I... – I was just heading to the Three Broomsticks to meet Tulip and Charlie. That's all, I don't...” she stopped, frowning. “I think I remember...on the way I heard something strange coming from the alley. Someone calling my name. I don't remember much after that...I went inside to check, and then...everything goes blank.” Her voice faltered and she shook her head. “Did...did I get knocked out that easily?”  
“Oh, trust me, young lady, it could have been way worse.” said someone behind them. James' heart missed a beat as he recognised the feminine voice almost immediately. He turned around, dreading what he already knew he would see.  
“You.” he said, pointing his wand at the witch. His worst fears were coming true.  
“Mr. Hawklett. What a pleasant surprise.” said Patricia Rakepick, with her usual smug tone that James remembered so well. She hadn't changed one bit – she was still sporting the same adventurous outfit, and had the same mysterious spark in her eye that made it seem like she was always hiding something from you. “Point your wand elsewhere, boy. If I meant you harm you'd already be dead.”  
James didn't flinch, keeping his wand steady, his eyes still fixated on the middle-aged witch. All the memories from last year were flowing back vividly inside his mind. All her lies. Her ultimate betrayal. “So that was your plan all along – attacking Tonks to lure me to Hogsmeade?” he asked angrily.  
Her mouth twisted into a contemptuous grin. “That would have been a very stupid plan. You have a mistakenly high opinion of yourself, Mr Hawklett. You're not even near relevant enough for me to – “ She interrupted herself and scowled, glancing in the main street's direction. “When this is over we'll have things to discuss. For now, you young people stay here and don't move.” she ordered. With a faint pop, she disappeared.  
James exhaled deeply, shivering from the adrenaline that had started to build up inside him, and finally lowered his wand. “You guys alright?” he muttered. Focused on Rakepick, he had completely suppressed the rest of his surroundings from his mind. He noticed with a start that Penny was right by his side, her wand in her hand, looking just as shaken as him.  
“Better, now that she's gone.” he heard Tonks say. “We should go back to the castle before – “  
The sound of an explosion on the High Street interrupted her and made them all jump in surprise. James could hear loud yells, recognising Rakepick's voice and another, masculine, that made his blood run cold in dread.  
“Shit!” he exlaimed, as he sprinted towards the ongoing duel, ignoring his friends' protests. It was Jacob's voice.

Rapid bursts of light periodically illuminated the street as James arrived on the scene. Jacob and Madam Rakepick were engaged in a furious battle, the likes of which he had never witnessed before. The intensity and velocity of their spell-casting both fascinated and frightened him – and most of it was non-verbal, too.  
“You had me by surprise before, Jacob Hawklett! You'll find that it won't be so easy to beat me this time!” Rakepick yelled after dodging a jet of white light that exploded on the wall behind her. Even at his distance, James felt the ground shake below his feet. They were going to tear Hogsmeade to pieces if they continued.  
“You are nothing. You can't even fathom the superior powers that I wield!” Jacob bellowed, casting another spell at Madam Rakepick. Blue sparks flew in her direction but she had already disapparated to the roof of a building. Red flames erupted from her wand, and Jacob had to cast a Shield charm to deflect them.  
“The powers you stole from the first vaults are nothing but perverted magic.” she growled. “They won't do you any good, you're still untrained, uneducated, undisciplined.” With every word, she shot a new jet of flames at James' brother. The heat was so intense that even James could feel it from the distance.  
He felt a hand slip in his and turned his head to see Penny. She looked worried, and there was a tinge of something in her eyes that he didn't quite recognise. Conflicting emotions rose within him; the worry that stemmed from her being so close to the danger was battling with the comfort her presence produced on him - he wanted to keep her close and yell at her to back away at the same time.  
She pressed his hand gently. “I know you're worried, but please don't try anything, James.” she said. He knew she was right. There was no way he could intervene in Rakepick and Jacob's duel. Trying to help could produce the opposite effect, as breaking the focus of either one of them would probably result in an immediate death. Hell, he wasn't even sure which side he was supposed to be on.  
“I won't, Penny. There's nothing I can do. And I...honestly, I wouldn't even know which one I should help.” he said, hearing his voice break a little. Admitting that last part aloud was harder than he had expected. It felt like betraying Jacob, and his entire family.  
“It's okay. You can't always help everyone.” she answered sadly.  
The whole street suddenly illuminated and James tasted metal in his mouth. Rakepick was using a form of magic he had never seen. Electricity was pouring from her wand, forming a long electrical whip that she hurled repeatedly at Jacob, who seemed to be doing his best to deflect it. Each hit made James' hair raise, and increased the acrid odor in the air. Penny and him backed away a few steps.  
Jacob roared angrily “You wanna play with dark magic, Patricia? Have fun with that!” He jumped to the side to avoid another hit and bellowed something that James didn't hear. A wave of fire shot out of his wand just as Rakepick's lightning whip arched back towards him. Jacob didn't have the time to dodge it and was hit on the side of his arm. James watched helplessly as his brother was thrown against a wall by the impact, laying motionless on the floor. But something else immediately caught his eye.  
His brother's wand was on the floor, still spitting increasing quantities of red-hot flames. Rakepick seemed to have disappeared. In that small amount of time, a nearby house had already been completely consumed by the inferno, and as the flames rose, they mutated, forming a giant fiery snake that seemed sentient as it immediately turned its head towards the alley where James and Penny stood.  
“Oh no, he didn't...” James gasped. Penny tightened her grip on his hand.  



	9. Chapter 9

Fiendfyre. Of course, his damned brother just _had_ to cast Fiendfyre. James remembered those flames very well. It was during the summer just after his fourth year that his father had pulled him to the family mansion's garden to show him the cursed fire. At that time, it was not unusual for either of his parents to teach him some new spell or curse once in a while, to “help bring back Jacob”. It was often dark, destructive magic, and James had never tried to reproduce any of it afterwards – but he had accepted their so-called help for a very simple and selfish reason: he had never felt as close to his parents as during those moments, and it was a change he had somehow welcomed.  
His father had summoned the fire in their garden, shooting an abnormally large burst of flames towards the sky in a roaring noise. It was a powerful spell – and quite beautiful too; James recalled being amazed at the continuous stream of enchanted fire that had quickly taken the form of a large bird, an eagle maybe, circling back in the sky and diving towards them. He remembered the heat, and the fear, as he had turned his eyes towards his father whose wand was still producing the flames. At the last moment, the wizard had muttered something and the flames had literally been swallowed back inside his wand. He had then sneered at him for being afraid.  
_Complete control_ , he had said. _That is the key to using Fiendfyre succesfully. Discipline, and of course, a deliberate and absolute desire to hurt, burn, maim the other person. And finally, James, the rule is to never, ever start a fire you can't put out._

Well, unfortunately that was exactly what his brother had just done. As the blazing snake made of pure fire and hatred advanced towards Penny and him, James' mind was racing at a hundred miles a second. He knew the charm that could stop the flames, even though he had never tried it directly. But would it be useful if his brother's abandoned wand was still continuously pouring out the cursed flames? He decided the best course of action would be to destroy Jacob's wand somehow before dealing with the flames.  
He squeezed Penny's hand. “We have to try to destroy the wand before it gets worse.” he muttered, with more confidence than he really had.  
She nodded and grabbed her wand. They both yelled “ _Confringo_!” in unison, still holding hands. The combined strength of their Blasting curses resulted in an explosion that shattered windows all around them and dug a ten-meters wide crater in the middle of the main street, where Jacob's wand was once located. The good news was that the wand seemed effectively destroyed. But the situation was only slightly better. He could hear someone screaming, he didn't know where – he could only see the flames, growing exponentially, feeding off the ruins of the crumbled buildings.  
“Please get back, Penny. I think I know a counter-spell, but – “ he started, not knowing what to say. But it's dangerous? But he had no idea if it would work? As far as he knew, Fiendfyre could only be put out by a charm, which made the user's wand reabsorb the enchanted flames; but the way his father had taught him, the charm had to be cast by the fire's summoner. James had no idea if it would work if he wasn't the flame's caster, but it was his only solution, his last hope.  
“I'm staying, whatever happens.” Penny said, despite her quivering voice betraying her fear.  
Overflowing with emotion, James couldn't help it and pulled her into a brief tight hug, breathing in deeply. Underneath the odor of burnt hair and smoke he could still smell her sweet perfume. “I love you.” he whispered, not knowing if she could hear him. The giant fire monster was only a few meters away when he stepped forward and, pulling her behind him, cast the charm his father had taught him.  
His wand immediately started to absorb the flames coming at them in a deafening, roaring noise. The heat around Penny and him increased tenfold, as the monstrous snake dove head first into his wand. The malicious intent he could sense coming from the fire seemed to weaken. But the heat was still there. The blazing, suffocating heat, increasing with every second. He couldn't breathe, his wand was burning in his hand, and he realised that it was glowing red. His whole arm shook from the pain and the tremendous effort it took him not to throw it away, feeling that if he did, it would make things even worse. He could almost hear the wand protesting. Looking up, he saw that the inferno had somewhat diminished, at least enough for him to distinguish some people on the other end casting jets of water, that just evaporated in the air before touching the cursed fire. Didn't they know water wouldn't work against Fiendfyre? A particularly sharp shot of pain in his hand suddenly made him falter. It was too much, he wouldn't be strong enough to stop it alone.

He was starting to lose hope when he saw two figures a few meters away on the street, raising their wands and casting the same charm as him. As the stream of fire they started to absorb illuminated their faces, he recognised Ben and the Hog's Head Inn's barman. The strain on his wand seemed to lessen a little, and soon the Fiendfyre seemed under control. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. It was almost over.  
James suddenly heard a loud crack, and Ben shrieked. A few seconds later, Aberforth cursed loudly. What had happened? He could only see Ben was on the floor, yelping in pain. His heart sank – his friend was definitely hurt, even from the distance he could tell. He had to resist the urge to run by his side to check on him – he had no choice, he had to stop the havoc his brother had caused first.  
Penny seemed to sense his distress – or maybe she was simply worried about Ben too, because she dropped his hand and whispered “I'll check on him, don't worry.” before running to their friend's side.  
He focused back on the fire. It was almost extinguished now, and the air's temperature was more tolerable. He hoped no one else in the small village had been hurt or worse, even though it seemed unlikely. As the last flames were smothered, James could finally grasp the true extent of the damage Jacob had engendered. He felt sick. Three or four buildings in a row had been completely destroyed, reduced to smoking ashes and fused, molten stones. He was pretty sure the herbology shop, Dogweed and Deathcap, was among those ruins. The Hogsmeade Post Office still stood at the end of that smoking row, miraculously untouched by the flames.  
In the distance, he saw a crowd gathered, and heard cries and shouts. A hand on his shoulder made him jump in surprise, but it was just the innskeeper. “I'll handle them, you should take care of your friend. He will need help. I already notified my...I mean, your headmaster.” he said. He started walking, before turning back and adding “You did great tonight, Mr. Hawklett. This town is in your debt.”

James ran to Ben's side. He was still on the floor, surrounded by Penny and Tonks. The blonde witch was making Ben drink some kind of potion, and both witches looked extremely worried. When he arrived, he heard Penny mutter to herself “...should have brought more... this is not enough...”  
“What happened?” he asked, crouching next to them. His eyes widened when he saw Ben. His friend's face was pale, almost lifeless. But the appalling part was not his face, but his arm. His school robes' sleeve had burned away, and his right arm, from the hand to the elbow, was black, completely withered. Even before hearing the answer he had already guessed what had happened. Ben had somehow been burned by the Fiendfyre.  
“I think his wand exploded, and then the fire got him for a moment.” Tonks said with a shaking voice.  
“Shit. How did... – Is he...” he started, not knowing what to say as anxiety spread in his mind. He didn't even know one could survive touching the cursed flames, the substance was notoriously destructive.  
“We don't know. I gave him a mixture of Wiggenweld, Glacialis and Emaculo potions, that was all I could think of. But his arm, did you see – ” Penny said, turning her wide and reddened eyes at James.  
“Perhaps Madam Pomfrey will be able to fix it.” he said, with little conviction. He deeply wanted to believe it was possible, but also knew injuries caused by dark magic were seldom easily curable.  
They stayed silent for a few minutes, listening to Ben's deep, irregular breathing. A sudden pang of pain in his hand made him realise he was still clutching his wand tightly. When he opened his hand, he winced despite himself. His palm was scorched, and the vision of the raw flesh made his mind suddenly register the throbbing pain that the adrenaline had hidden from him.  
“Dammit. _Episkey._ ” he said, holding his wand in his other hand. But it had no effect, his whole body was shaking, there was no way he could cast anything properly.  
“Merlin's pants, James!" Tonks said, noticing his palm. "Give it here.” she ordered, taking his hand. “ _Episkey_.” The skin on his palm mended slowly, leaving only a slight redness behind.  
He exhaled, feeling the pain diminish. “Thank you.” he said, opening and closing his hand to test it.  
“Don't mention it. By the way, have you checked if your dumb troll of a brother was okay?” she asked, frowning.  
James had completely forgotten about Jacob. Turning around, he was relieved to see that his brother was stirring on the ground where he had fallen, against Zonko's building. It was a miracle he hadn't been harmed by his own flames. But relief soon gave way to fear, when he saw a silhouette emerging from the alley and approaching his brother. Rakepick was still alive.

Without thinking, he got up and ran towards them. “Leave him be!” he yelled.  
“Just take a look at what he has done, Mr. Hawklett! Destruction, pain, and violence; that's who your brother is. You need to stop protecting him.” she sneered, raising her wand.  
“You provoked all this, and then you ran away! You could have stayed and helped us stop it but you just fled? Ben was hurt because of you!” he yelled in protestation.  
“What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't let my students fend for themselves once in a while?” she said in a smug voice that angered him even more.  
“We're not your students anymore. And I won't let you harm my brother.” James said, placing himself between her and his brother.  
“And just how will you stop me?” she said with a cold smile.  
Without warning, she moved her wand and James reacted instinctively and yelled “ _Protego!_ ”, just in time to stop the spell that was coming at him. Rakepick snorted.  
"If you're still stating your intentions out loud, how do you expect to beat me?”  
They eyed each other for a moment, until the shield vanished. James immediately attacked. “ _Flipendo! Confringo! Impedimenta!_ ” he yelled, the succession of spells illuminating the street for a brief moment. Each was easily parried or countered by the red-haired witch.  
“You'll have to do better than this, Mr. Hawklett. I must say I'm disappointed.” she taunted him.  
“ _Ventus! Stupefy! Expelliarmus!_ ” he answered, but they were just as ineffective. He readied his wand to cast a knockback jinx non-verbally, but Rakepick was too quick. He didn't see the spell but felt the skin on his cheek split open, and the warm rush of blood flowing down.  
“I could have killed you right now, but I didn't. I am not here to battle against you, only your brother. There are things you don't know about him – dark things. He is not the person you think he is anymore.” she said.  
This somehow calmed James down a little bit. The curiosity made him stop, and he retorted, distrustfully, “Tell me, then”, his wand still pointed at her.  
She opened her mouth but interrupted herself, looking behind him with anger. Jacob had regained consciousness, and was trying to push himself up from the floor to face them. “Don't listen to her, brother. She's full of lies, remember what she did...last year.” he said weakly.  
Rakepick laughed. “I'm the one full of lies? Why don't you tell him about R, or about what you did in the vaults, what you're planning to do?” she said with apparent disgust.  
“Hey, Patricia, just because they killed your chi – “ Jacob started.  
Rakepick growled. “Don't you dare talk about them! _Crucio_.”  
Jacob shrank on the floor and yelled in agony. “Stop it! He doesn't even have a wand to defend himself!” James yelled at Rakepick.  
But she didn't seem to want to stop, on the contrary. “Don't worry, boy, soon he won't feel anything ever again.” she said with malice in her eyes. She moved her wand, and the tip of it started glowing green.  
“No! _Bombarda!_ ” he yelled. Rakepick waved her wand to parry the spell, but it wasn't aimed at her. There was a surprised look on her face when the wall behind her exploded, shooting bricks and debris all over her.  
“Now you've made me angry.” she said, a trickle of blood running on her forehead. She coughed heavily, and spat out blood too. James hadn't expected to hurt her that much, but a small part of him thought it felt good. Rakepick raised her wand with a vicious look on her face, but before she could do anything, someone yelled “ _Expelliarmus!_ ” and her wand shot in the air, landing a few meters further.  
Tonks emerged from the shadows, her wand pointed at Rakepick. “I think we all want to hear about James' brother, preferably without Unforgivables being cast?” she said.  
Turning his head, James saw Penny still crouched next to Ben, trying to make him drink yet another potion from her belt.  
“You attacking me instead of Jacob Hawklett is ironic, Miss Tonks, considering he is the reason you're all here tonight in the first place, not me.”  
Tonks' eyes widened. “You mean he's the one who stunned me?”  
“Why would my brother do that?” James said, bewildered.  
Rakepick sighed and wiped the blood from her chin. “The brother you knew is no more, Mr. Hawklett. Jacob has become a monster. A murderous, treacherous and power-hungry monster.”  
“Lies! Deception!” Jacob growled, still on the floor. “She's defenseless! You can end her now, James!”  
Rakepick continued, impassive. “The power from the cursed vaults corrupted him, but he was already mad before. Why don't you tell him how you drained the vaults' power, Jacob?”  
“Don't listen to her, James! Please!” said his brother, but James just shot a fearful look at him and looked back at Rakepick.  
“How?” he asked.  
“He has killed. More than I can count. Sacrifices for the vaults. You and your friends didn't have to experience it, because the vaults you encountered and closed were already drained of most of their power – all thanks to your dear brother.”  
“I did what I had to do! It's not as bad as she's making it look like, James. Please. Just kill her, do it for me, end her lies! Do it!” Jacob yelled.  
“And now for the last vault, what he has planned is even worse. He – “  
Her voice was interrupted by a girl's voice, right behind them. “ _Avada Kedavra!_ ” she yelled. The green flash of light illuminated the street for a brief moment. James' heart sank when he saw Merula Snyde. Her eyes were blank, she didn't seem fazed at all by what she had just done. Her whole face was simply emotionless. He couldn't believe what had just happened, it was not possible.  
“YES!” he heard Jacob yell, but his voice seemed so far away. Was he just in a dream? He closed his eyes tight and breathed deeply, trying his best to wake up. When he reopened them, Merula and Jacob had both disappeared. Tonks' eyes were fixated on Rakepick, her hand on her mouth, looking almost as stunned as she had been earlier in the evening.  
James walked slowly towards the middle-aged witch lying on the floor. Her eyes and mouth were open, turned towards the sky. She was very much dead.


	10. Chapter 10

The concept of time seemed to have thoroughly disappeared from James' mind after that. In a haze, he saw himself returning to Penny's side and they both sat on the ground against a wall, in each other's arms, watching over Ben while waiting for help to arrive. Did they talk? He couldn't tell. As the adrenaline in his body dropped, he started to feel all the cuts, burns and bruises that the evening had inflicted upon him – he had no idea how he would stand up. He just stared silently at the ground, oblivious to the constant stream of people hurrying in front of them. On several occasions, someone came to check on them or ask them questions. Was it Madam Rosmerta? Aberforth? Zonko's shopkeeper? Or just random adult wizards? It all seemed to blend in his memory.  
At some point, Dumbledore arrived; maybe seconds, hours, or days later. All he knew was that the headmaster was too late. Then, by some miracle, he must have managed to get up, because a blink of an eye later he was lying down inside Hogwarts' Hospital wing, and Madam Pomfrey had given him something to drink. Before he could even register what was going on, he sank into his pillow and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

He woke up with the worst headache he had ever experienced in his life. Wincing, he turned his face, unable to bear the light shining in from the infirmary's windows. He focused his blurry vision and was surprised to see Penny sitting by his bedside.  
“You're finally awake, James!” she said, when she noticed his open eyes. “You had me worried for a moment.” The Hufflepuff girl smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back. He gawked at her unusually disheveled hair; her braids had been undone and golden strands of hair were flowing freely on her shoulders. Looking down, he then noticed she had a few bandages on her hands and arms.  
“Are you...alright?” he asked, as reality settled in and he remembered last night's events.  
Her smile faltered a bit. “I...have been better, to be honest. But I'm fine, really, compared to what you've been through. And Ben...” she interrupted herself and exhaled sadly.  
“How is he?” he asked, worried, and looked around, trying to spot the Gryffindor boy in one of the Hospital wing's other beds.  
“He's not here, they sent him to St. Mungo's last night. Professor Dumbledore told me this morning that he would survive, but...we don't have any details yet.” she murmured sadly. “Rowan went there too, by the way. He visited you before, but you were still sleeping.”  
James shook his head. He didn't know what to feel about this – or maybe he felt too much. He was relieved that Ben was saved, but worried that they hadn't been given more details, and it all merged in his mind, with the guilt and apprehension about how his best friend Rowan felt about all this.  
“You saw Dumbledore?” he asked, trying to focus on something else.  
“Yeah, this morning. Apparently he already had a talk with Tonks last night, but I guess he wanted to hear my side of the story.” she said, shrugging. “He'll probably want to speak with you too.”  
“I figured.” he said. Truth be told, the last thing he wanted was to see the headmaster. Having to recall last night's events would be painful enough, but there was something else, an unpleasant feeling that stirred in the back of his mind when he thought about Dumbledore. It took him some time to recognise it. _Resentment_. Because once again, his friends and him had been in danger, and where was the headmaster? Or any member of the Hogwarts staff, for that matter. Nowhere to be found. Dumbledore had promised him everything was under control. And now Ben was at the hospital, Penny and Tonks had been hurt too, and they had witnessed Rakepick getting murdered. Plus, his brother was missing again (and was probably evil anyway), and Merula... He sighed and closed his eyes. What was she thinking?! The terrible vision of his classmate casting the death curse lingered in James' head. He could still see the flash of green light hitting their ex-mentor, almost as if it was all happening again right in front of him. Great, he thought. The headmaster hadn't even begun his interrogation yet and he was already torturing himself with those memories.  
“Oh, I almost forgot!” Penny exclaimed next to him. She unfolded a napkin and handed him a few slices of toast. “You missed breakfast, so I brought you these.”  
He looked at her and blinked a few times, and then his stomach growled – it seemed to have registered what she had said faster than his brain. “Merlin's beard, Penny, you're awesome.” he muttered gratefully.  
She smiled as he devoured his first slice of buttered bread and raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was still warm and crunchy – she must have put a spell on the napkin to retain their freshness. “It'sh sho goo', thanksh” James tried to say between two mouthfuls, earning him an amused giggle.  
“Glad you like it.” she answered, winking.  
The toasts were really perfect, but as he ate through them he couldn't help but feel sad. It was too much, he didn't deserve any of this. Kindness, friendship, love... At the beginning of this year, he had sworn to himself not to put his friends in any more danger, yet at the very first occasion that presented itself, he had done exactly the opposite. The guilt was oppressing, he couldn't even bear looking at Penny. The memory from last night, of her kind, beautiful blue eyes filled with unusual terror, was torturing him.  
“Are you okay, James?” he heard her ask in a careful voice.  
He couldn't pretend everything was fine, he didn't have the strength right now – and in truth, he had very rarely been able to hide anything from the Hufflepuff girl anyway. Before he could figure out how to best describe what he was thinking, however, his somber thoughts were interrupted by the infirmary's doors opening. He heard Dumbledore briefly speak to Madam Pomfrey before approaching his bed.  
The headmaster smiled when he noticed Penny by his bedside. “Hello to both of you.” he said, standing politely a few feet away from them. “How are you feeling, Mr. Hawklett?”  
“Good enough.” James answered, shrugging.  
Dumbledore inclined his head. “Well, then. I assume you already know I spoke to Miss Tonks and Miss Haywood here.” he said, smiling at her. “I will, of course, need to speak with you as well – as soon as you will allow it.”  
James nodded but didn't say a word.  
“You can come to my office when you're ready. Until then, rest well.” Dumbledore finished, before turning his heels and walking out of the Hospital Wing.  
James exhaled. He certainly didn't feel ready yet, but he wanted to get this done quickly. “I guess I'll go later this afternoon.” he muttered, just as Madam Pomfrey came by to check on him. After checking the bandages on his hand, arms, and one on his cheek that he hadn't even realised he had, she gave him four different potions to drink. The last mixture made his insides tingle, but seemed to have an immediate effect, as his vision cleared and he suddenly felt renewed energy flowing in his body.  
“You're angry at him, aren't you?” Penny said, leaning closer and placing her hand on his when the matron walked away. He tried to avoid eye contact with her and looked at the ceiling. Sometimes, James thought it frightening how much Penny could understand his thoughts just by looking at him. Who needed legilimency when you had her skills with reading people?  
“A bit, yes.” he admitted, sighing. “But it'll pass, I guess. I'm more furious at myself anyway.”  
“Wha – Why? You saved us all yesterday.”  
He turned his head to face her. She seemed genuinely surprised, which was even more astonishing to him. “It's all my fault, don't you see? I should never have taken us there. We almost died yesterday – and for what?”  
“Well, we saved Tonks.”  
“But maybe she didn't even need saving! She had just been stupefyed by my brother.” he exclaimed, before realising something. ”And it was probably to lure me to Hogsmeade, to force Rakepick out of her hiding place. She wouldn't have missed a chance to confront me, Jacob probably knew that. She...she died because of me, then.”  
She pressed his hand. “No! It's your brother's fault and you should be angry at him, certainly not at yourself.” she said in a reassuring voice.  
James didn't answer. He wished he could express exactly what he was thinking. The despair he felt as he was slowly realising that being close to him was literally life-threatening for all his friends. The helplessness too, because no matter how hard he trained he didn't seem to be even remotely powerful enough to be able to protect them. But the words died in his throat before he could utter them.  
Penny pressed his hand again. “Please don't blame yourself, James.” she whispered.  
He just shook his head and sighed defeatedly. They stayed silent as he finished eating the toasts she had brought him.  
“I should go see professor Dumbledore now and get this over with.” he suddenly said.  
Penny nodded. “Good luck, then!” she said, smiling encouragingly.  
Almost surprisingly, his feet seemed to support his weight as he stood up. He was certainly feeling way better than when he had woken up – at least physically. He was almost at the door, but suddenly turned back, feeling the need to say something.  
Penny looked at him questioningly. “What's wrong?”  
“I...I just wanted to say – Thank you. I mean...for being there for me.” he blurted out, feeling heat rise up in his cheeks. He really wasn't great at talking about his feelings.  
But the way Penny beamed at him made it totally worth it. “I'll always be!” she said, and winked.

The headmaster looked older than ever, James thought. His long fingers crossed on his desk, Dumbledore seemed completely lost in his thoughts after he had finished recounting last night's events. The deafening silence was only broken by the mysterious chimes the various bronze devices on the shelves sometimes emitted. After what felt like an eternity, the headmaster finally sighed and looked at him.  
“Thank you, James – as I expected, your point of view brings valuable information to my attention.” He marked a pause, then looked at him straight in the eyes. “Now, as I promised you before you began your story, I will answer any question you may have for me as best I can.” he said.  
James didn't hesitate. The question that was bothering him for a while now, burning in the back of his mind, shot through his lips at once. “Where were you? Where were the teachers yesterday evening when Tonks went missing? You promised everything was under control! Why is it that you're never... Where were you?” He had almost yelled that last part. Dumbledore simply looked at him, almost with an comprehensive smile, which made him feel suddenly uneasy. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be disrespectful, professor.”  
“Ah – it's quite all right, James, I can only understand your anger. I hold at least some responsibility in last night's events. You see, yesterday evening I was called to the Ministry of Magic for an important affair. During my absence, something unforeseeable happened – dark wizards we believe to be members of R tried to invade school grounds.”  
James' eyes widened. “R? Here?” he gasped.  
“Indeed. The powerful protective enchantments alerted your teachers, of course – and they spread out to search for them. I must humbly confess to you, the school was unprepared for an event like this – and as a result of our disorganisation, for a few hours, no teacher could be found inside the castle. I can assure you that this won't happen again.”  
“Did you catch the intruders?” James asked.  
“There is no certainty about precisely how many there were – but your wonderful teachers managed to incapacitate four of them, which are now in the Ministry's custody waiting for a trial.”  
That was a first. Until now, R had been a complete mystery; and now presumably, four of their members had been captured. James was almost relieved at the news, for maybe they would learn more about that evil group. He felt his anger dissipate, and his heart beat faster in anticipation. Now that he understood, he couldn't really blame the professors for what had happened.  
“Are there...any news about Ben?” he suddenly asked.  
Dumbledore nodded gravely. “The healers at St. Mungo's kindly send me hourly updates about Mr. Copper's situation.” he started. After a little pause, he added “Though he is now stable, I am afraid to say the damage to his right arm seems to be irreversible.”  
James looked down and sighed. The news only partially surprised him – he was not expecting much after he had seen Ben's state last night. But still... “I had hoped...” James said, feeling a lump in his throat.  
“And it is very commendable that you did.” replied the headmaster. “Hope oftentimes leads to wondrous things. For example, if miss Haywood hadn't hoped that she could still, against all odds, save Mr. Copper last night, he would certainly have died of his wounds. As you surely already know, Fiendfyre is one of the most destructive types of magic known to wizardkind – just the contact he had would have consumed his body within minutes if not for her intervention. It is a miracle, if I might say – surviving Fiendfyre's touch was thought to be impossible beforehand.”  
James shook his head. “It would never have happened if we hadn't gone to Hogsmeade in the first place.” he said, feeling bitter.  
“And how could you have known what would happen?” retorted Dumbledore, smiling compassionately. “You went on this trip to save a friend – a highly noble cause in my humble opinion. I would be far more concerned if, given yesterday evening's situation, you had decided to leave miss Tonks to an unknown fate.”  
James' feeling of guilt didn't fade away, but he was still surprised to hear the old professor say that. He had been expecting admonishments, accusations, but certainly not approval for what he did. His surprise must have been visible on his face, because Dumbledore smiled again.  
v “Yesterday, by putting your lives at risk to save miss Tonks, your friends and you defended this school's interests just as much as your teachers fighting R. And I am not even mentioning the magical prowess you displayed, by managing to stop the ravaging destruction that would otherwise have decimated the village. So you see, it is my belief that you should be nothing but proud of yourself.”  
“Thank you, professor.” answered James sheepishly.  
“You are welcome, James. Now, you surely have other questions?”  
James thought for a little bit before answering, trying to sort out his thoughts. “Are...my parents aware of what happened?”  
“Owls were sent early this morning, explaining the situation to your parents, along with miss Haywood's and miss Tonks'. And naturally, Mr. Copper's parents are already at St. Mungo's – I notified them personally yesterday night.” answered the headmaster calmly.  
James nodded, feeling a twinge of guilt. He had met Ben's parents only once, a few years ago at King's Cross. They were pleasant people – he recalled during the few minutes they had talked, they had been warmer to him than his own parents had ever been. Which didn't say much, come to think of it – the ice vault was probably warmer than his parents too. He wondered about how they would react to Dumbledore's letter. Maybe this time they wouldn't take Jacob's side after what he'd done.  
“What about Merula?” he asked, suddenly remembering the Slytherin girl.  
“Unfortunately, I have no information concerning either miss Snyde or your brother. The ministry is looking for them, however. I am afraid to say, they are both wanted fugitives now.” Dumbledore said gravely.  
James looked at the floor. After all he had gone through to find Jacob, it was quite disheartening to hear that he would probably go to Azkaban. Of course, his brother probably deserved it after what he had done. He suddenly realised he was much more worried about Merula than his brother. He couldn't believe Merula had murdered someone. The Slytherin witch had always seemed aggressive and vengeful, there was no denying that. But after being around her for five years, he knew it was just talk – or at least he thought he knew that.

When he stepped back inside the infirmary, the sun had already begun to set. Penny was sitting on her bed, and her face lit up when she saw him. She closed the copy of _Advanced potion-making_ she was reading and smiled. “How did it go?” she asked eagerly, tucking a loose strand of her golden hair behind her ear.  
“Well... Better than I expected, I guess?” he said, sitting down on a chair next to her bed. He felt his head spin; he wasn't fully recovered yet, and talking with Dumbledore had exhausted what little energy he had left. He recounted his conversation with the headmaster to Penny, and added “Maybe we could go visit Ben at St. Mungo's Saturday? I wanted to go before that, but Dumbledore disagreed.”  
Penny nodded. “I was thinking the same thing, it might cheer him up to see us! We can go with Tonks, and bring him some sweets from Honeydukes perhaps, or – “ she interrupted herself with wide eyes and sighed, her lower lip trembling. “Maybe not Honeydukes, on second thought...”  
“We'll find something.” answered James, trying to be reassuring. He too was definitely not ready to set foot in Hogsmeade anytime soon.  
Chattering noise started to grow louder outside the Hospital Wing. Was it dinner time already? His stomach growled in anticipation; he had only eaten the toasts Penny had brought him – but somehow, though he was indeed extremely hungry, he had a bad feeling about the feast. He didn't feel he had the strength to bear the inevitable stares from the other students.  
“Hey Penny, are you hungry?” he asked, deciding he would follow whatever she wanted to do.  
She raised her eyebrows as if suddenly realising something. “Oh – that's right! You must be starving!” she exclaimed, jumping off from the hospital bed. He cursed himself internally – his plan to follow whatever _she_ wanted just fell apart.  
Madam Pomfrey let them join the feast, albeit very reluctantly, making them swear to come back as soon as it would be over. Sometimes James wondered if the matron would prefer to lock every student inside the infirmary rather than let them risk getting hurt. Still, she was right, he definitely needed more time to heal. Joining the stream of students heading towards the Great Hall, he winced, sensing their prying stares and hearing them lower their voices around Penny and him.  
“Brilliant. That's not awkward at all.” he muttered, already feeling annoyed. Penny grabbed his hand reassuringly.  
They sat down at the Hufflepuff table, in front of Tonks, Tulip and Charlie, who looked very surprised to see them, to say the least.  
“You're here!” said Charlie, his eyes wide. “We wanted to visit you guys at the infirmary but Madam Pomfrey didn't let us.”  
“We're so sorry!” added Tulip.  
“It's okay, we probably needed the quiet and rest anyway.” Penny smiled.  
“No! About yesterday, I mean. It's all our fault, if we hadn't decided to go – “ started Tulip, but James raised his hand to interrupt her.  
“Stop. I can't let you blame yourselves for my brother's crimes.” he retorted.  
“Exactly.” Penny added. “You guys did nothing wrong!”  
Tonks shook her head, looking gloomy. “Speak for yourselves... I still can't believe I was nothing more than a damsel in distress last night... I didn't even get hurt.”  
“Are you saying you wish you had been hurt?” Penny said, raising her eyebrows.  
“No! Of course not.” she answered, frowning. “It's just...I don't know.”  
“Tonks, it has nothing to do with you being weak. My brother ambushed you, and we came to help, because that's what friends are for. Don't be too hard on yourself, alright?” James said, trying to comfort her.  
Tonks stayed silent, playing sadly with the vegetables on her plate. He didn't like seeing her like this, she was usually so cheerful. But in a sense, he could understand why she would feel that way - and he would probably have felt something similar in her shoes. In that moment, for the first time in his life, James truly hated his brother for what his actions had caused to his friends.  
Charlie cleared his throat. “So...are you guys...alright?” he asked cautiously.  
“How do we look?” James retorted with a playful smile.  
“Well...fine, I guess? I mean, less fine than usually, but still fi – “ Charlie said, but Tulip interrupted him with a small hit on his arm.  
“What he means is, you look tired. And hurt, and... Merlin's beard, I think that's the first time I've seen Penny without her braids!”  
Penny's eyes widened. “I totally forgot!” she said, feeling her hair with her hands and looking anxious.  
“You're very pretty like that.” mentioned James mechanically, saying aloud something he had been thinking throughout the day. Silence fell among his friends, and he suddenly became very conscious of what he had just let out, feeling himself blush. “I mean...”  
“You mean I'm usually not? You don't like my braids?” answered Penny, raising her eyebrows.  
James' heart sank. “No! Of course not, I love them! It's...it's just...” He looked desperately at his friends on the other side of the table for help, but they seemed to be trying their best not to laugh. Looking back at Penny, his eyes met hers and she burst out laughing, quickly followed by Tulip and Charlie. Even Tonks snorted.  
“You should see your face.” the pink-haired witch said with a smirk, shaking her head.  
“I'm sorry, James.” Penny said in a sheepish voice after calming down.  
He winced. “Not funny.” he said, and Penny smiled apologetically.  
Looking at them, Charlie started, “Hey, are you two finally – “ but was interrupted by Dumbledore standing up and asking for the students' attention.  
When the Hall became quiet, he began to speak. “Good evening, my dear students. I must apologise for interrupting what is certainly a wonderful feast, but tonight there is a matter I need to talk to you about. As some of you might already know, an incident happened yesterday evening at Hogsmeade. After talking with the Minister of Magic and some of our neighbouring village's residents, we have agreed that to ensure your safety in the future, restrictions had to be applied. As such, effective immediately and until further notice, visits to Hogsmeade will only be possible on certain week-ends that will be disclosed to you at the beginning of each semester. These visits will be supervised, as professors will be accompanying you to the village, and we will also need a permission signed by your parents or guardian in order to allow you to those visits.”  
Dumbledore didn't seem to have finished, but the whole Hall burst into shouts of scandalised protestations. James, of course, knew the reason behind this new rule, but he also understood why some students were shocked. It put an end to what was probably a centuries-old tradition of Hogwarts students spending their free time at Hogsmeade. He himself had always enjoyed hanging out at the village, at any time of the day, drinking butterbeers with his friends or visiting Honeydukes. He would probably miss it later, but for now he didn't even want to think about Hogsmeade anymore, and he'd be very glad to stay away from it as much as possible.  
“Silence! Please remain calm.” Dumbledore said, raising his voice. When the students finally calmed down, he continued, “It goes without saying that anyone caught trying to sneak away to Hogsmeade without permission will be severely punished – whether it be through the front gate, or by...other means.” James could have sworn that the headmaster had looked directly at Charlie's brothers sitting at the Gryffindor table when he said that. “As these are troubled times, I must also remind you never to go out of your dormitories after curfew, and finally, please report to me – or any of your professors – if you encounter anything suspicious.”


	11. Chapter 11

When James fully woke up, very early in the morning, Penny's bed was empty. The sun had only started to rise and in the dim light he noticed, placed on his nightstand, a small yellow card with a message written on it. Intrigued, he grabbed it, recognising Penny's neat writing.

“ _Dear James, I hope you're feeling better as you're reading this. I was worried because you slept through the entire day, but then Madam Pomfrey told me she had given you an Integrius potion, so it actually made sense. I'm being allowed out of the infirmary, as I have fully recovered. I'll be sure to visit you as much as I can tomorrow! With love, Penny._ ”

He read it a few times, wincing at the fact that he had lost a whole day without even realising it. He actually felt grateful for her message – he would probably have been completely lost and confused without it. The little card even smelled faintly like Penny's sweet, flowery perfume. Sighing, he pocketed it and jumped off the bed, his body and mind both overflowing with energy. Madam Pomfrey's office was locked, and when he got tired of walking around the infirmary aimlessly, he decided to sneak out and have a quick stroll outside the castle – with a little luck he'd manage to be back before the matron and wouldn't be scolded.  
The winter morning breeze was certainly chillier than what he had anticipated, but James welcomed it with open arms. He sat down under a tree and closed his eyes, breathing in fresh air that invigorated him after days spent locked inside the castle. He stayed immobile, listening to the birds singing peacefully, and feeling the cold wind pass through his hair. After a moment, his mind completely clear and with renewed energy, he decided to head back inside. Much to his surprise, a certain blonde Hufflepuff girl was waiting in front of the infirmary's entrance.  
“Penny? What are you doing here this early?” he asked, genuinely surprised.  
A smile materialised on Penny's face when she saw him. “You look in better shape today, James!” she said enthusiastically. “I just wanted to check on you before the day started, that's all.”  
So together they crept back inside the hospital wing, which was still empty. She took a seat next to his bed and they ended up chatting while waiting for Madam Pomfrey to reappear.  
The matron emerged from her office about half an hour later. She vaguely frowned and pursed her lips when noticing Penny but didn't object, and immediately started to examine James. His hands and arms seemed to have completely healed, but she spent a little more time observing his cheek and declared sternly that the cut Rakepick had inflicted would leave a slight scar.  
After a long and well-argued plea from him, the matron agreed to let James go – on the condition that he came back tomorrow morning for a last check-up. Relieved, he headed towards the Great Hall with Penny for breakfast.

A few days later on Saturday morning, James woke up feeling glum. The night had been long and restless – his upcoming trip to London had made finding sleep a woefully complicated task, despite his weariness. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Ben and Rowan at St. Mungo's; how they would react and what he would say to them. He dreaded the confrontation, still feeling a tremendous amount of guilt despite the headmaster and Penny's attempts at reassuring him.  
Professor Dumbledore had made arrangements for them to be transported to the hospital using the Floo Network, as any other means of travel would have been more inconvenient (despite Tonks arguing that stepping inside a fireplace _was_ as inconvenient as it gets). All their friends had expressed the wish to come along – Charlie and Tulip being the most persisting; but the headmaster had been clear: the hospital would only allow three of them at most. Thus it was with his mind full of apprehension that James now stood leaning against the wall, in front of the Hufflepuff common room's entrance, waiting for Penny and Tonks.  
The portrait suddenly opened. “Fina – “ started James, but he interrupted himself and cursed internally. He was expecting to see the girls, but instead, of all the Hufflepuff students, of course it _had_ to be Diego Caplan who came out. “Uhm...Hi.” James corrected.  
The boy simply sneered and walked away, which was actually relieving for James, who breathed out. The last thing he wanted was another confrontation with Diego – he already had more than enough to worry about. The Hufflepuff boy, however, seemed to think otherwise, as he appeared to change his mind, turned back and walked straight towards him.  
“What did I tell you last time, Hawklett?” Diego said with clenched teeth, a mad light dancing in his eyes.  
James was already fed up with the situation. “Don't know, Caplan.” he retorted with wide eyes, feigning ignorance. “Was too busy carrying your arse back to the infirmary, I reckon.” he added, almost surprised by his own words. It was not like him at all to add fuel to the fire – but on this particular day he happened to be really on edge and couldn't help it.  
Diego didn't flinch and continued, unperturbed. “I told you to stay away from Haywood, that you were harming her – but look at what you've done instead. Even worse.”  
It was nothing that James wasn't already thinking himself, but it still hurt – which certainly did nothing to calm the anger boiling inside him. But before he could respond, Caplan followed up, almost yelling. “And now you're heading to visit your so-called friend, Copper – that you and your brother basically sent to the hospital yourselves? What will happen next time, a funeral? I'm telling you – you're _cursed_ , everyone close to you is damned. And I swear to God, I WILL PERSONALLY COME FOR YOU IF HAYWOOD – ”  
“If I _what_ , Diego?” asked Penny, standing in the portrait hole, frowning furiously.  
“We're all dying to hear that, please go on.” sounded Tonks' voice from behind her.  
Diego looked back and forth between Penny and James, the expression on his face switching between anger, shame and annoyance. It seemed to finally settle on the latter as he rolled his eyes. “Penny, you can't tell me you're still on his side after what he's done to you.”  
“Oh, I can tell you exactly that.” she growled, her blue eyes filled with a fierce fury that James had never seen before. “And if you managed to look past your stupid jealousy, you'd see the – “  
“They'll kill us all – his wretched family and him! Everybody hates him!” he snapped. Turning his head towards James, he added “Your scheming even cost us our trips to Hogsmeade, you – “  
“Bloody hell, Diego! You barely ever set foot in Hogsmeade!” interrupted Tonks in an exasperated voice.  
“That's not the point!” he answered with frustration, breathing heavily. But he didn't add anything else.  
James' annoyance had not subsided, but he somehow managed to restrain himself from saying anything else, hoping to ease the tension. In the end it was Penny who broke the silence. “I told you last time, Diego. Try and get over it. Please, it's for your own good.” she said in a soft but insisting tone.  
His shoulders slumped, and after throwing a brief glance at James, he simply muttered “Sorry.” and walked away. James looked at him go, his ears still ringing with what the Hufflepuff boy had said. However unpleasant it was, Diego's words actually echoed his own deepest fears about hurting his friends.  
“Wotcher, James!” Tonks said in an hearty tone after Diego had disappeared. “Anyway, I don't mean to be rude but we should probably go now.”  
“Right.” Penny nodded, still frowning. “I'm sorry that Diego acted like this, James...” she said as they climbed the stairs, heading towards Dumbledore's office.  
“Don't. I mean, it's not even your fault.” he replied simply, shrugging.  
She sighed. “For what it's worth, he was lying. Nobody hates you – trust me, I know. Quite the contrary actually. Some even call you the Hogsmeade Hero nowadays.”

James stepped out of the fireplace's green flames into what seemed to be the reception area of St. Mungo's. He had almost never been to the magical hospital - he vaguely remembered visiting his brother with his parents once, when he was eight or nine years old; but he certainly didn't recognise the place. The air carried a minty smell that was characteristic of Wiggenweld potion. There were rows of old wooden chairs in the room, occupied by wizards and witches with a variety of conditions, some more gruesome than others. A little girl began wailing and he noticed with a start that she had antlers sprouting out of her head. How in hell did _that_ happen?  
A loud burst of flames behind him made him turn around. Penny emerged from the large fireplace, looking queasy. “I had never... _oof_.” she said in a trembling voice, leaning onto James.  
“You alright, Penny?” he asked compassionately. Traveling by Floo Network was definitely an unpleasant experience, especially the first few times. The smoke, soot, and motion sickness certainly took some time to get used to.  
“I...ugh...I'll be fine, thanks.” she said, still grasping his arms, her face a few shades paler than usual. “Definitely not looking forward to going back, though...”  
Another whooshing sound later, Tonks appeared, wincing and muttering something like “Bloody Floo Network.” She started dusting off her clothes carelessly, then paused and stared sternly at Penny and James who were still in each other's arms. “Come on, there'll be plenty of time for _that_ later.” she said with a smirk, as James felt himself blush and gently pushed an equally red-faced Penny away to a more reasonable distance. After a few _Tergeo_ s, the three of them were all clean and ready, just in time as a Healer wearing lime-green robes approached them.  
“You're the Hogwarts students, here for Ben Copper?” he asked in a flat voice. “Follow me.” he added, without waiting for the answer.  
The wizard briskly led them up the stairs until they stood on the fourth floor which, according to a golden metal plaque on the wall, treated spell damage. Another Healer – a witch this time, was waiting for them and smiled warmly at James and his friends. “Thank you, Rutherford, I will take them from here.” she said – to which he simply nodded before disappearing back downstairs. Addressing them, she added “Welcome, children. My name is Miriam Strout, I have been taking care of your friend for almost a week now.”  
“How is Ben?” asked Tonks almost immediately.  
The motherly-looking witch answered with noticeable hesitation. “Good! Better – but...the situation...has developed unexpectedly. You'll see – Ben will tell you. He's been waiting for you.”  
She opened the door to _Ward 46_ and let them inside.

The room was brightly lit by large windows. Of the four beds available, only two were occupied. In the one closest to them, a bald middle-aged man glanced at them scornfully before hiding back behind the newspaper he was holding.  
At the other end of the room, a small crowd surrounded another bed. James recognised Mr. and Mrs. Copper; the others were witches and wizards in green-robes – Healers, holding clipboards and seemingly in an animated conversation. Rowan was slumping in a chair next to them, visibly exhausted. As James approached, he overheard bits of the Healers' conversation: “ _\- shouldn't even be possible -_ “, “ _\- have to report to the Ministry -_ “... His heart pounded in his chest, not knowing what to expect. Rowan was the first to notice them – he literally jumped on his feet, ran and pulled James into a brief tight hug.  
“James!“ he exclaimed with a broad smile. “And Penny, and Tonks! I missed you guys so much.”  
“We missed you too, Rowan!” answered Penny, smiling brightly.  
James felt a weight lift from his shoulders – at least his best friend wasn't as deeply mad at him as he had been expecting, at least for now. “So...how is it going?” he asked.  
A shadow passed on Rowan's face, and his cheerful expression suddenly faded away. “It's... complicated. Come see for yourself, I guess.”  
As everyone greeted them, James scrutinised Ben's face closely. His expression was blank, and when he noticed the newcomers he barely smiled.  
“Ben? How are you?” asked Penny carefully.  
“Hello, Penny. James. Tonks.” he nodded at each of them. “I'm fine, really. I'm being told otherwise, but I feel good.”  
James was startled, to say the least. It didn't sound like Ben at all – his voice was as flat as the expression on his face. “Are you sure..?” he insisted, but Ben simply shrugged.  
“Ben, please...” said Mrs. Copper, almost pleadingly.  
“I lost my forearm – or...well, at least I thought I did. But look...” he said. Undoing the blackened bandages himself, he showed them his damaged arm. Penny gasped and covered her mouth, while Tonks whispered “ _Bloody Merlin!_ ” and stepped back. Everyone else was silent as a grave. The vision was actually fascinating, in an eerie, horrible way. At first glance, Ben's forearm was black, dry and crackled as charcoal, yet somehow, in a way it looked _alive_. Taking a closer look, James' eyes widened in surprise.  
“Is it... How...” he started, not sure if he was understanding what he was seeing.  
“I don't know how. Nobody knows, apparently. I can feel it pulsating and burning. Non-stop.” Ben said nonchalantly.  
Underneath the fissures, something was moving – coursing and faintly glowing red, yellow, orange. Almost like veins of fire – despite everything he knew about the human anatomy telling him that it wasn't possible.  
“Surviving Fiendfyre is basically unheard of, so we are treading on uncharted territory here.” explained a man, repeating what Dumbledore had already told James days earlier.  
“And you can still feel it, too... I'm so sorry.” said Penny.  
For the first time since they arrived, Ben didn't look absolutely emotionless. “No! You shouldn't feel sorry – and I know you all do! But you shouldn't. It's not you guys' fault at all. And Penny...you're the one who saved my life. I just hope I can repay that one day, I won't forget. I'll become stronger, you'll see. You'll all see.”  
Penny just mumbled timidly “Well, I mean, you don't have to...”  
There was an awkward silence following that, because anyone that was even remotely close to Ben would have noticed that this was _not_ like him. He had somehow changed - for better or for worse, James couldn't tell yet, but in those circumstances it worried him.  
“Excuse me... miss Haywood – Penny? You are the one that gave the potions to Mr. Copper after his injury, right?” asked a young Healer holding a clipboard. The witch didn't look much older than his friends and him – she must have graduated from Hogwarts only a few years ago.  
“Yes, that's me.” answered Penny with wide eyes. “Did...did I do something wrong? Is it because of me that – “  
“No! No, absolutely not. You're quite literally the only reason he's still among us, you did a fantastic job! But...yeah, we had...a few questions if you don't mind.”  
Penny sighed in relief. “Oh! Alright, then.”  
She brushed James' arm gently as she left with the group of Healers. An awkward silence settled among the people that stayed. After days spent thinking about what he would say to them, now that he was finally here, James had nothing.  
“Is Rakepick really dead? You saw it?” asked Ben, breaking the silence. His cold and detached voice sent chills down James' spine. He tried to answer but the words strangely died in his throat.  
“Yup. Right in front of us. Merula got her.” muttered Tonks in a glum voice.  
“Good. Got what she deserved. I'm glad Merula got her revenge.” Ben answered simply.  
“Ben!” exclaimed his father. “Whoever she was, you can't say things like this.”  
James exhaled. “Plus, I'm not even sure which side she was on, in the end. Not that it matters now...” he added, frowning.  
“Yeah, after what she did to us in the vault last year? Whichever side she was on, the world's certainly better off without her. If Merula hadn't done it, I would have.” retorted Ben.  
“In the state you were?” scoffed Rowan. “Ben, darling, you're lucky to even be alive...”  
“There's still R out there. Not for long – I'll come for them as soon as I'm out of here.” muttered Ben, as if Rowan hadn't said a thing.  
Rowan rolled his eyes. “I need to grab some coffee. James, you mind coming with me?”  
James shrugged, taking the hint that Rowan wanted to speak with him in a more private setting. As soon as they were out of the ward, Rowan growled in frustration.  
“Ugh...I just can't bear it anymore! Ben is not...he's changed. Did you notice it, James? I don't recognise him at all. He's so reckless, and aggressive, and...and he doesn't really talk to me anymore – or to anyone, for that matter. I'm worried sick, I haven't slept much since last week, and – I...don't even know if he's going to be okay after that. He keeps talking about revenge, and that's not...that's not Ben at all! I just don't know what to do.” Rowan finished his rant and turned to James, looking devastated. Now that he looked at his friend more carefully, he indeed noticed dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, that usually only appeared a week or so before exam sessions.  
James looked at him hesitantly. “Yeah, I...noticed that much. I think...alright, my best guess would be that he's still in shock after what happened to him – which wouldn't be surprising. I'm worried too, but you know...it's probably going to be fine.”  
“Do you think he still loves me?” Rowan suddenly asked.  
“ _Of course_ he still loves you, Ro'! But maybe you should ask him directly instead of keeping it all to yourself.” he said, patting his best friend's back.  
Rowan nodded. “Right. You're right, of course - I'll talk to him later.”  
They climbed the stairs to the fifth floor, where the visitor's tearoom was located. It was a spacious, crowded area; the tearoom in itself was very generic, people were relaxing around small wooden tables, eating and drinking. Rowan and him sat down at one of those tables after ordering coffee.  
“Listen, Rowan. I wanted to tell you – I'm so sorry. We should never have gone to Hogsmeade, I should never have taken Ben with us. I didn't know – “  
“No one could have known, James! Alright, I was pretty angry at you for a few days, I even considered sending you a Howler. But I've had time to think this through, and it's really not your fault, it's just...sometimes bad things happen, and we have to deal with them.” Rowan said, sighing.  
James looked at him, feeling uneasy. “So...we're okay?” he finally asked.  
“Yeah – of course we are!” retorted Rowan, patting him on the shoulder comfortingly. “Plus, you even apologised. I believe that's a first!”

They returned to Ward 46 about half an hour later. To his surprise, they found Tonks talking agitatedly with the ward's other patient, the grumpy-looking man. At the other end of the room, Ben had fallen asleep. Mr. and Mrs. Copper were both seated, holding hands, looking exhausted. Mrs. Copper smiled wearily at James when they arrived.  
“We didn't have a chance to tell you earlier, but it's a pleasure seeing you here. Having Ben's closest friends by his side – even for a moment; I believe it's important in a time like this.” she said in a warm, comforting tone. “Have you recovered, James? Mr. Dumbledore told us you had been injured too.”  
It surprised him a little bit that Ben's mother would care about his well-being, even after what had happened to her own son because of him. “I'm fine, really...it was nothing.” he stammered, not daring to meet her gaze.  
“He may not look like it, but our Ben's a strong lad.” added Mr. Copper softly. “He'll get over this and walk out just fine.”  
They stayed silent for a while, waiting for Penny and the Healers to return, listening to Ben's steady breathing that resonated in James' mind like the minute hand of a doomsday clock. He observed Ben's peaceful look on his face – the very same sleeping expression he had seen his friend display for over five years – and tried to convince himself that maybe for once, he was indeed worried for nothing and things would work themselves out.  
Despite the situation, his heart performed a little somersault when Penny finally entered the ward. Looking grave, she sat down next to them.  
“We'll have to go back to Hogwarts soon. They are planning to do more tests this evening.” she said wearily.  
“Was everything okay back there? You were gone for quite a while.” said James.  
Penny nodded. “It was fine. We went over every ingredient in the potions I gave Ben, to try to find a solution. They do have a few more leads now, but...” she sighed.  
“But what?” Rowan asked.  
“But nothing really major.” she said sadly. “I tried to help as best I could.”  
“You already did a lot, my dear. And we will forever be grateful for your help.” said Mrs. Copper, placing her hand on Penny's reassuringly.

As soon as Tonks came back, they got up and prepared to leave. James rose his eyebrows interrogatively, silently asking what she had been doing, but the story she told him – about the man being an auror named Savage who had his left buttock blasted off by his own wand stored in his pant's back pocket – was both absurd and unbelievable, and he didn't want to investigate further, having no time for yet another mystery.  
Rowan promised them he'd be back to school in a few days, as he couldn't afford another week of missed classes. Dumbledore had allowed him to return to St. Mungo's every week-end, because obviously Ben would not be out of the hospital so soon. They finally bid farewell to Ben's parents and headed back to the castle through the reception hall's fireplace.


	12. Chapter 12

Staying true to his words, Rowan was back on Tuesday – or at least he physically was, because his mind seemed to be lost elsewhere most of the time. During the next days, it wasn't rare to find him gazing in the distance, his brow furrowed with anxiety, deaf to whatever conversation was going on around him. James tried to help his best friend as he could – all of their friends actually did their best to cheer Rowan up, really; and he noticed even the professors made an effort to give him some space and turned a blind eye on some missed assignment and his fluctuating focus in class. But despite all this, the usually cheerful bookworm kept sulking, keeping more and more to himself as days went by, much to James' worry.  


It wasn't until Friday that Rowan finally opened up to him. Ben's situation had been getting worse lately and, left with no other solution, the Healers had taken drastic measures and planned on cutting his arm off entirely. The procedure, called amputation, was apparently common among Muggles; but they had no idea if it would improve Ben's case – magical wounds and Muggle treatments were a notoriously bad combination. James tried his best to reassure his worried friend; he did not know if he sounded convincing enough, but by the end of their conversation Rowan thanked him.

James' dreams were filled with fire and death almost every night since Hogsmeade. He got used to waking up in the dark, sweating profusely despite the castle's chilly air. For the first time in his life, he dreaded going to sleep. Reliving those moments, the fire, the pain, and especially witnessing the spark of life extinguishing in Madam Rakepick's eyes, deeply unsettled him.  
On the other hand, it also fueled his motivation to train even harder. Becoming stronger was slowly growing into an obsession – one that he knew, deep inside, to be unhealthy. But he couldn't really help it: he _had_ to improve his skills drastically, to cover the gap that still separated him and what he now knew his brother, Rakepick and probably all the other members of R were capable of. He had to be able to protect the people he loved.  
Penny and him hadn't talked much these past few days. A lot of his time had been spent with Rowan who desperately needed his presence; but in truth, James was also avoiding his other friends, and even planned to keep his distances with his best friend as soon as he'd feel better. He couldn't forget Diego's words during their last altercation; he ruminated about them every day, over and over again, and could only agree that anyone close to him was facing way too much danger. He was especially wary of hanging out with the Hufflepuff girl – and the discussion with her that he had been waiting for with anticipation just a few days ago had become one that he cowered at.  
He loved Penny, there was no denying that. His whole being longed to be with that amazing girl, to laugh with her, walk with her, to plunge in her lagoon blue eyes and drown in her sweet flowery scent. But the restraints he put on himself were even stronger. The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that a relationship with Penny was a bad, unreasonable idea: if his brother, or R, discovered that he cared _that_ much about one of his friends...he shuddered at the thought of it. He certainly couldn't risk that – it was way too dangerous. All his friends were surely better off without him.  
So instead he kept his focus on his training, and borrowed a whole pile of books on advanced dueling from a very suspicious looking Madam Pince. The complicated strategy diagrams and schematics filled his mind as he woke up every day at five in the morning and trained in the Room of Requirement for hours.

Following this routine, in a matter of weeks, his skills had improved tremendously. Non-verbal spell-casting was natural to him now – whatever the spell; and he even managed chaining them smoothly into complex combinations. He was also satisfied with his current physical condition, and his reflexes were sharper than ever. But it was still not enough – and worse, it came with a cost: his grades were plummeting, and he completely avoided any social relation to a point where Rowan pulled him aside one day, with intense worry showing on his face.  
“James, what exactly is happening to you?” he asked firmly.  
“What do you mean?” he retorted, surprised. “Nothing, I'm fine, how about you?”  
Rowan eyed him incredulously. “No, you're not! It's baffling that you think nobody noticed. We're all worried about you! You pay zero attention in class and you only sleep, like, four hours a night – and don't deny it! ” he added when James opened his mouth to protest. “I literally sleep in the same room as you, mate, so I know how much rest you get – and you definitely look like you need sleep anyway.”  
“I've...uh...simply been training a lot lately, that's all. Don't worry about me, Rowan, I'm fine.” he said, wincing.  
“Well, you should consider stopping and focusing back on what matters before you end up in the infirmary again. You don't need to push yourself that hard, you know? You're probably one of the strongest among the students already.” replied Rowan.  
“That's the problem, among the students won't be enough.” James muttered, avoiding eye contact.  
Rowan paused and looked at him exasperatedly. “Stop this - really, just stop. My boyfriend was badly injured already, I won't let that happen to my best friend too.” he said, before adding in a menacing tone “And if you don't stop I'll literally tie you to a chair myself and force you to study until your grades go back to where they're supposed to be.”  
James winced again. He wanted to explain to his best friend how weak and helpless he felt, his fears and everything that kept him awake at night; but he stayed silent.  
“Besides, whatever you plan to do, you can't do it alone.” continued Rowan. “If you're not stopping, at least let your friends in! You've barely spoken to anyone except me lately – I know you were aware that I needed it, and I'm very grateful for it, but our other friends also need you, especially Tonks and Penny. It's been weeks since you've had any – ”  
“Don't you think I've caused enough harm to my friends already?” James cutted impatiently.  
“Well, James...aren't you doing _exactly_ that, by ignoring them?” retorted Rowan. “Plus, do you really think that Tonks, Barnaby or even Charlie will just sit around while you do whatever you plan to do? If the school is threatened they'll run head first towards the danger anyway, whether you like it or not! Wouldn't it be better and actually safer if you all did it together?”  
James sighed and crossed his arms, not saying anything.  
“Anyway,” Rowan continued, “I wanted to tell you, Ben will be back in two days. We're throwing a party that same night, to celebrate - it's going to be huge. _No_ training for you that night, I expect you to be there!”  
The news that Ben had recovered enough to be allowed back was great and reassuring; but James remembered all too well their visit to St. Mungo's and how eerie and worrying it had felt, seeing his injured friend's change of personality. He sighed, wondering if he could avoid the party, despite wanting to make sure Ben was alright.

It actually came as no surprise when, later that day, he found Penny waiting for him outside the classroom after his Charms lesson, looking determined. It certainly wasn't too far-fetched to think that Rowan had spoken to her; but before he could even feel annoyed at his best friend, his body seemed to act on its own: his heart-rate increased and, despite his best efforts to suppress it, he smiled – as any sensible person would do when seeing Penny Haywood. From the corner of his eye he saw Rowan simply slipping away, smirking mischievously.  
“Rumors say you've been avoiding everyone lately, James.” Penny started. “Not that I didn't notice, but my...source has confirmed my suspicions.”  
“Hmm...this source of yours, did he just flee a few seconds ago without saying anything?”  
“Maybe.” she shrugged casually. “So, what have you been doing these past weeks?”  
“Training, mostly.”  
He noticed a slight flash of worry in her eyes. “Are you chasing the vaults again?” she asked.  
“What? No...I don't know. It's just...I'm trying to keep you guys from getting hurt again, that's all.” he replied sheepishly. “Especially you.”  
She looked at him, her expression unreadable. “So that's why you've been avoiding us? Why you sit alone during feasts, don't study with us anymore, and vanish during the little free time we have?”  
“...Pretty much, yeah.” he answered, avoiding her stare.  
“And have you given any thought about what your friends actually wanted?” she asked softly after a pause. “Especially me.”  
To be honest, he hadn't; and it suddenly dawned on him how selfish he had been. His friends would probably have deserved an explanation, at least. “I'm sorry, Penny.” he said, feeling very distressed. “For not saying anything. I didn't realise how confusing it would be for you guys. It's just... After everything that happened, seeing the state Ben was put into because of me... I don't want anything like that to happen again, you know... I mean, Diego was right all along, even if he acted like a prick about it. I'm not - ”  
He was interrupted by Penny suddenly pulling him in a tight hug. All his thoughts and fears seemed to melt away as he stood there, paralysed, Penny's warmth enveloping him.  
“Do you remember when I asked for your help during our third year, about Scarlett?” she asked in a soft voice, moving back slowly.  
“How could I forget?” answered James.  
“You managed to convince me not to drink the Forgetfulness Potion. It was a terrible idea, I see that now, but...well, we all deal with trauma differently. I trusted your judgment back then, and... I need you to trust mine now, okay?” she paused and James slowly nodded. “First, what Diego told you was a bunch of jealous crap, so please don't torture yourself with it. You're one of the most brilliant, brave and genuinely good people I know, James. I don't think that at this point anything I say will stop you from feeling guilty – even though you really, really shouldn't. But...you're mistaken if you think that shutting yourself away from the people close to you is a good solution. It's not what we want, and I'm pretty sure that deep down it's not what you want either, is it? Actually, you know what? I think that our enemies – R, your brother, and...even Merula now I guess, they are the ones who would gain the most from that decision. We're more vulnerable when divided – but together we might stand a chance, don't you think?”  
James looked at her desperately. He felt his determination to stay away from Penny slowly dissipate, being replaced by the hope that maybe, just maybe, he had been wrong, and protecting the people he loved was not incompatible with staying close to them. “I'm...afraid, Penny.” he admitted. “That you, or anyone else I care about, gets hurt again – or worse.”  
The blonde girl smiled sadly, leaning closer to him. “All these years, when you were hunting for the vaults, I was awfully scared that something might happen to you. I'd lie awake at night, hoping that you'd come back to us in one piece – and thankfully you always did. But the dangers increased every time, you'd be back with cuts, bruises, occasionally ending up in the Hospital Wing...”  
“Why didn't you tell me this sooner?” James asked with wide eyes. “I...I could have done something, I don't know...”  
“You did make it better sometimes.” she said with a little smile. “When you brought me along and we went on these adventures together it was much less stressful.”  
“What? But you...I... Weren't you afraid?”  
“Sometimes, yeah. I mean, I'm not used to crawling in caves, facing acromantulas, or...dragons.” she shivered. “But we were together and it made me happy, and certainly much less anxious. What I meant to say was... I know what it feels like to be afraid for someone you care about. And keeping away won't change a damn thing about it, it'll only get worse.”  
James looked at her dismally, realising how much stress he, for years, had put her through. “I'm so sorry for everything, Penny. I really am.”  
“You shouldn't be – frankly, James, you don't have to feel responsible for everything all the time.” she said with a frown, her voice almost a whisper. “How could you have known if I had never told you? Besides, what were my fears, compared to the risks you took to save the school?”  
James sighed heavily. “It seems that being close to me always leads to being hurt.” he muttered.  
“Just let me be even closer.” Penny said softly, her eyes sparkling unusually and her cheeks a little pink as she inched nearer and took his hands.  
Time stopped as James' heart started beating wildly. He stared into the electric blue eyes that he had admired so many times before. Before he knew it, they were only inches apart, still looking straight into one another's eyes. They were so close he could feel her steady breathing on his face, sending waves of warmth through his body with every blow.  
“James...” she whispered.  
“ _Ahem_.” a voice sounded right behind them, and they both jumped away from each other. Professor Flitwick was standing in the entrance of his classroom with a half-stern, half-amused look on his face.  
The short wizard apparently didn't feel the need to add anything more, as he simply walked away, whistling to himself. James glanced back at Penny who looked utterly flustered, and cursed himself, both for not moving further away from the classroom earlier and for not having the courage to kiss her when the moment was perfect.  
“I...uh...thanks for the talk, Penny.” he said hesitantly after a few moments of silence. “I think that these past few weeks I wasn't thinking clearly. I won't try to keep you away anymore – I promise.”  
“Good.” she smirked. “Now that you came back to your senses, did Rowan tell you about the party? It's on Thursday night, two days before the Christmas holidays - Gryffindor tower, in case Ben needs to rest early; and even professor McGonagall gave her consent.”  
“Yeah, uh...I wasn't sure if...” he started.  
“You're coming.” she interrupted him with a dazzling smile. “With me. We're going to dance and have fun. You need it, I need it – and everyone else needs it too.”  
James smiled, feeling himself blush. “Alright, then. If it's with you... I'll come.”  
“Perfect. Thank you.” she grinned, then seemingly hesitated for a moment before approaching him again. She stood on tiptoe, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered in his ear “And yes, it's a date. I'm looking forward to it.”

Surprisingly, James' reintegration in his friends' social group went so smoothly it was almost as if he hadn't spent weeks isolating himself – he just sat with them during the dinner feast and everything went back to normal. He was startled when he realised how much he had missed talking and laughing with them. For the first time in weeks, he felt genuinely happy and exactly right where he should be. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood too; the news of Ben coming back certainly lifted their spirits.

Their long-missing friend arrived at school on Thursday morning, during breakfast. Ben entered the Great Hall and Rowan, apparently possessing a super-powerful boyfriend radar, immediately noticed him, ran to him and pulled him in a tight embrace while the rest of the Great Hall, slowly realising who had just appeared, fell silent. Then a thunder of applause erupted all around the hall as students cheered. It was a little surprising, considering Ben wasn't a very popular student; but being injured while fighting dark magic and missing school for almost a month had apparently changed that.  
“How are you feeling?” Penny asked Ben, as the conversations around them gradually resumed when he finally sat down.  
“Great. I feel better here - being stuck in my hospital bed was driving me crazy.” he said with a confident smile. It was unusual seeing Ben look confident, thought James – but it was a good thing.  
“How's your arm?” inquired Charlie, frowning.  
Ben shrugged. “It stayed at St. Mungo's.” he answered, waving his school robe's empty sleeve. “They're still doing tests on it, even after being detached from me it was still burning.”  
“And it's your right arm, too.” Charlie winced. “Your wand arm.”  
“Exactly. I'll have to start all over, learn all the movements again with my left arm.” he shook his head. “Another reason I wanted to get out as soon as possible – I need a new wand quickly, and I need training.”  
“We'll visit Diagon Alley together during the holidays, don't worry” said Rowan, his hand on Ben's shoulder.  
The latter pressed his own hand on Rowan's and nodded, smiling. _Well, at least they seem to be on the same page now_ , thought James. Ben looked a little tired and pale, but otherwise way better than during their previous encounter at the hospital, which was relieving news.

James looked at himself in the bathroom's mirror. His brown hair was shaggy, slightly longer than he usually kept it, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked perfectly neglected, but there was nothing he could do right now, as Ben's party was starting in half an hour. Sighing, he got out to prepare himself.  
The Gryffindor common room had been redecorated a bit, a large banner hanging on the wall read “ _Welcome back, Ben Copper!_ ”. He smirked: the party's pretext was Ben coming back, but James wasn't fooled – all the rest indicated that it would be a regular student party. Most couches had been pushed to the side, leaving room in the middle for an improvised dance floor; and small tables had been brought in a corner, filled with snacks and pastries from the kitchens, crates of butterbeer and even some highly illegal firewhisky, no doubt thanks to Jae. The room was slowly filling up, mostly with Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, the usual party-animals. James was surprised at first, seeing the amount of people there already was – but then he remembered that holidays were starting in two days, thus many students certainly wouldn't miss the fun.  
James himself wasn't a big fan of parties like these. Occasionally he had attended some, usually Tonks' wild themed parties in the Hufflepuff common room with half of Hogwarts' students; but he had always ended up leaving early after an hour or two sitting on a couch. His friends' company he enjoyed a lot – but the chaos, drinking and dancing to loud music wasn't for him. Still, this evening was different. Spending time with Penny – on a date, no less, magically turned the dull situation into a bright, exciting one.  
“Glad you came, mate!” said Rowan, patting him on the shoulder. “Although I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who convinced you...”  
A soft hand suddenly slipped in James' and their fingers intertwined.  
“Nope, I'll have to take credit for that!” said Penny gleefully.  
The blonde potioneer was absolutely gorgeous. She had put on a very simple black and yellow sleeveless dress, her hair was braided in their usual fashion, and the light lipstick she was wearing was enough to highlight her natural beauty. Simple indeed, but she really outshone everyone else in the common room, girls and boys alike. Almost a minute had passed before James realised he had been holding his breath.  
“And thank Merlin you did. You look fantastic.” James said.  
Her face lit up. “Thanks! You too you know - “ she started sheepishly, just as a gramophone somewhere in the room started blasting music. “Let's have some fun!” she exclaimed, grinning.  
James remembered the dance with Penny during the Winter Ball – this had nothing in common with it. There was obviously much less space in their common room, and the dance floor was kind of crowded. Students all around were moving wildly, it felt nothing like the intimate and almost romantic waltz they had shared during the ball. Still, Penny seemed to enjoy herself tremendously, she danced and whirled in rhythm with the music, giggling like a little girl. He shook his head, smiling, and tried following her movements awkwardly.  
After a moment, the dancing crowd suddenly moved and he lost sight of the Hufflepuff girl. He tried looking for her but in front of him stood a girl he didn't know, with blue highlights in her hair, freckles, and smokey eye makeup. She winked at him and boldly put her hands around his neck.  
“Fancy seeing you here, Hawklett.” she said in a smooth flirtatious voice. Well, apparently _she_ knew who he was. Then again, who didn't?  
He grabbed her wrists gingerly and removed her arms from around him. “Uh...I'm here with...do we know each other?” he stammered, slightly taken aback by her attitude.  
A hand suddenly grabbed his forearm and pulled him out of the crowd, as the blue-haired girl simply smirked and turned towards another boy. James found Penny staring at him, looking equally annoyed and amused. “So...I lose sight of you for two seconds and you're already flirting with Skye?” she said with a raised eyebrow.  
“I didn't!” he protested. “She practically jumped on me, I don't even know who that girl is!”  
“You don't know Skye Parkin? The Quidditch star?” she said, dumbfounded. “She practically single-handedly won the cup for Slytherin last year!”  
“Slytherin won..? I haven't really been paying attention to Quidditch lately. So...nope, don't know her.” he shrugged.  
“I can't believe you've never seen her fly! She's the daughter of Ethan Parkin, the famous...ugh, you don't know him either, right?” she halted, seeing his empty stare. “She's amazing, though! Or...at least she was, until she tried to snatch away my bo – my...date.”  
They sat on a couch and Penny huddled close to him, a butterbeer in her hand.  
“I'm sorry, by the way.” he said, as Penny raised her eyebrow questioningly. “For Skye I mean. It was just...very unexpected.” he added.  
“Don't – I was just teasing you! Of course you wouldn't flirt with her. And I know her reputation anyway.” she replied, smiling. She took a sip of her butterbeer and, glaring at the crowd, she giggled. “Look at Ben!” she exclaimed.  
If James thought the students were dancing like madmen earlier, he definitely hadn't seen Ben. The Gryffindor boy was holding a bottle of firewhisky in his only hand; and the rest of his body was the definition of _chaotic_. Students around him were staying a few feets away, cheering him on – Rowan was among those people but he wasn't cheering, merely staring at his boyfriend, looking bewildered. Ben all of a sudden gulped down the entire bottle, then roared and continued flailing his arms and legs wildly.  
“I don't know if I should be amazed or frightened by that.” Penny said, her eyes wide.  
“To be honest, I'm a little bit of both, right now.” James muttered.  
Penny chortled and inched closer to him; but before he could enjoy the moment, his eyes caught something odd. It took him a few seconds to register what was wrong. In the dancing crowd, a student was standing immobile, looking straight at Penny and him. Ismelda.  
Ismelda Murk was a Slytherin girl, and Merula's only friend. Or were they even friends? James didn't remember ever seeing them actually be nice to each other. They were more like partners. He had never really talked to the girl, and she mostly kept to herself – seeing her at a party was unexpected, to say the least. He probably would have been less surprised to see the headmaster dancing in the crowd.  
“What's wrong?” inquired Penny. She followed his stare and her eyes widened when she finally saw the Slytherin girl too. “You think she wants to talk with you?”  
James hesitated. “I...don't think I want to.” he said. He knew it was probably not the right thing to do, but just for tonight he really wanted to stay as far away from problems as possible.  
Penny nodded, grinning. “Then we better find a quieter spot.” she said, taking his hand.  
They quickly slipped into an empty side-room and closed the door. There, in the dim light cast by the moon through the windows, they looked at each other and burst out laughing, the absurdity of the situation dawning on them.  
“We just ran away.” he said, still chuckling. “From Ismelda. Right in front of her.”  
Penny cracked up. “It's okay...” she said when she calmed down enough. “We'll apologise to her tomorrow.”  
It took them a few more minutes to get hold of themselves. When they finally did, Penny hugged him and sighed contentedly.  
“I'm glad you're with me, James.” she said in a tender voice. “And I know you don't like parties as much as I do, so thank you. I really needed this to blow off some steam.”  
“Oh I don't regret coming, you know, I'm actually having way more fun than expected.” he said with a slight smile. Pausing an instant, he then added teasingly “Plus, who would've denied a date with _Penny Haywood_?”  
She laughed. “Oh, shut up!”  
“I'm serious, though.” he insisted. “Being with you, it's...magical. I can't believe I tried avoiding you for weeks - that was nuts! Honestly, you could probably ask me to go anywhere, as long as you're with me I'd certainly enjoy it.”  
“ _Anywhere?_ ” Penny asked softly, grinning.  
“Yeah – where do you want to go?”  
She pondered for a few seconds, then shrugged. “Right here is already perfect.” she whispered.  
Through the bare windows, the pale moonlight was illuminating her delicate face, casting silvery, fascinating reflections in her eyes and hair. The scene was beautifully unreal. Was it all a dream?He couldn't tell. As Penny smiled at him, James finally mustered enough courage to do what he'd been yearning for since Merlin-knew-when. He leaned forward and, closing his eyes, pressed his lips against hers. Penny melted into the kiss immediately, leaning closer to him, and as he placed his hands at her back, hers rested on his chest. Her lips were so damn soft and warm; the feeling of pure bliss was making his mind slowly go blank. It was Penny who pulled back, grinning as they both tried to catch their breath.  
“Uh-guh...” James muttered - his brain had obviously short-circuited and couldn't form a single coherent thought.  
A small giggle escaped from Penny's lips. “It was amazing.” she said, and she looked visibly happy too, which reassured him.  
He nodded slowly. “Yeah – why didn't we do this sooner?”  
“It was definitely worth the wait!” she beamed.  
“I think so too! Although... Penny – this might sound silly, but I wanted to ask you...something.” he could feel himself blushing hard, and hoped that in the dim light it wasn't too noticeable.  
“Anything, James.” she said, seeming puzzled by his sudden seriousness.  
“Alright – you know I fancy you, obviously, and...we went on dates together and all, but...I hadn't properly asked – do you want us to...I mean...” he said, wincing at his own hesitation. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”  
He had rarely seen Penny so happy. “Of course I do, James!” she said, hugging him tightly. “I was beginning to wonder if you actually wanted that, I thought you'd never ask!”  
“I wanted to! It's just...things happened, and...well - “  
She interrupted him with a gentle kiss. “I'm glad you finally did.” she said tenderly.

When they exited the side room the party was still going strong, though with noticeably less students. A few suspicious heads turned towards them but most were either too busy or too drunk to notice. None of their friends were still there, so they decided to call it a night. He greeted Penny good night, then retreated up to his dormitory.  
Ben and Charlie were already asleep, but he found Rowan sitting on his bed, reading a book.  
“Where've you been? You suddenly disappeared in the middle of - “ Rowan interrupted himself when he rose his eyes from his book and looked at James. “A-ha! I knew it. Penny and you is finally happening! It was about time!”  
“What? How did you know?” asked James, flabbergasted.  
Rowan sniggered. “You have her lipstick all over your mouth, James.”

He fell asleep that night, his mind filled with the memory of his first kiss with Penny, and with a smile on his face that he couldn't suppress. For the first time in a while, he slept peacefully.


End file.
